Sometimes, you fight doggerel with more doggerel…

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I Kissed A Goat

Katie Perry kissed a girl
Then alerted all the world
Half the planet sang along
I think that she got it wrong

When she stopped to think about
What he’d say if he found out
She should have told him to fuck off
And find a boy to kiss himself

All this over one small kiss
From cherry-coated chapsticked lips
Do us a favor and write a new one
And this time, get your freak flag on

Write one called "I Kissed A Goat"
Or "Did It With Oprah On A Boat"
Or "I Never Liked Boys Anyway
And I Kissed Her ‘Cuz It Felt OK"

Transgressing stale old boundaries
Might make some coin from wannabes
Or rile a Fundamentalist
(Who wishes that he’d seen that kiss)

But most of us around these parts
Believe in kissing from the heart
And whether your boyfriend minds or not
Is totally beside the point