10:00 AM:
Kid, you can’t rely on clever
because clever only gets you so far:
from sophomore homeroom pranks
to your first college party at most. After that,
clever becomes desperate and winds up
believing that “Waking Life”
is a good movie because
clever got laid once
after watching it.

10:30 AM:
You? You shouldn’t rely so much on earnest.
Earnest will only lead you
to protest rallies and long nights debating
what “emo” means with people
you would really rather be kissing.

11:00 AM:
You should try to develop
some mad skills and become pretty
because
pretty helps and is all about
the mad skills; there are beautiful children
no one ever notices who would be pretty
if they just developed their mad skills.
It’s not pretty
that I know this,
and not pretty that it’s true,
but it’s true.

11:30 AM:
You’re doomed.

11:40 AM:
You’re going to be fine
in spite of what I say.

12:15 PM:
You would make a fine
guidance counselor.
Lucky you.

1:30 PM:
I don’t know what to tell
you.

There are times when
I can remember what I am
supposed to be doing here
when I speak to you,
and I hate you for that.

2:30 PM:
Joy, and spirit, and service.
God love you.
May you one day forget
I ever existed.