Monthly Archives: June 2008

Salesman’s Blues (Misanthropy)

He says, “I think
of individual happiness
as an overpriced commodity.”

Runs a finger around the soft edge
of the tumbler.

Two rocks, single malt, half gone.
Another glass empty on the bar.
His silk tie
has a stain on it,
looks like an old one,
darkened from fingers worrying
the edges.

He says, “If I still had the money
for every tie
I’ve had to buy in a rush
from a hotel gift shop
before a meeting where I had to look my best
or risk losing the account,
I’d be richer than a goddamn pimp
at a convention.”

He says, “Come to think of it,
I am a goddamn pimp at a convention.
We’re all pimps here. Selling whores
we keep back at the office, all lined up
waiting to service people like you.

People like me live off of people like you,
and no thanks to you.”

He strips off the tie faster than
a superhero changing for battle.

Downs the last of the drink, slams
the glass down, gets up to go back to his room —

no one’s heard what he said back there in the corner,
far away from the people laughing at the TV,
the flirtations, the deals wisping in the air:
smoke foretelling fire.


Misogyny

Trying to imagine
why a single spider
working her way from ceiling to floor
would be the only one I’ve seen in here
despite all the cobwebs —

is it possible
she made them all?

I watch her sliding up and down
in front of me,
not three feet from my nose.
I’d say it was a taunt
if I could be sure
she is even aware of me.

Eventually, I’m sure,
I’ll swipe her lines from her
and if she lands upon me
or next to me, I’ll flick her
across the room, muting the music
in the room before doing so

just so I can hear the tiny click
when she hits the far wall.

She’ll be back and we’ll do it again
in a day or so. In the mean time before that,
cobwebs will continue to build up
in the corners,
I will continue to blame her. Every other
spider is safe from me as we go to war,
as I drown in the drapes of silk that
she never made all on her own.


GotPoetry Live, River Walk Journal, and the Celtics…

Three wins to celebrate:

— Ryk McIntyre’s feature at Gotpoetry tonight, which was excellent, moving, and a great start to his upcoming book tour. Thanks to all who came out.

— My poem, “Death of Word,” is in the new issue of River Walk Journal, which is a lovely publication: http://www.riverwalkjournal.org/vol5iss1contents.html

— Got home in time to watch the end of the Celtics-Lakers blowout. That was just FUN. Jeez, at the end they were just playing with the poor Lakers. Kinda like watching Rosie (my ferret) with some of her toys…just chewing them up and spitting them out. I felt bad for them…but I got over it fairly quickly. Like, immediately. 😉


Hi.

Sorry to hear about the Asylum auction last night. If there’s anything I can do, let me know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So…weekend music.

Kind of spur of the moment: we were looking for something to do on Saturday night, and happened upon ads for the first Worcester Irish Festival, down at the Hibernian Society/Fiddler’s Green Pub on Temple Street. Turned out that a_solitaryman was coming up to see the headliner, Black 47 from NYC, and we joined forces. I’d heard bits of Black 47 over the years, of course, but wasn’t overly familiar with them. So glad we went!

Great band of no-nonsense political traditional Irish folk-ska-punks, with sort of a lighter hearted Pogues vibe, who got a wide range of folks jumping as the night went on — almost none of the local punks were there, but it was a treat to see a crowd of grandmothers and kids pogoing on stage with Irish step dancers and assorted drunken revelers of all types as the band sang about Bagdhad and Bush and all sorts of fun stuff.

Encore: “I Got Laid On James Joyce’s Grave/Gloria/I Fought The Law.” Can’t beat that.

Also caught a bit of the act before them, a Celtic rock act from Vancouver called The Town Pants. Cool stuff, and very funny. If this is a harbinger of the future booking policies for the festival in the coming years, this is gonna be one fun event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the ragtag fun of community-based revelry to the modern stadium spectacle…Sunday night was RUSH at the Tweeter Center, now the Comcast Center.

I’d never seen them and had an admittedly snobby attitude toward the band in years past, so while I was looking forward to it, I had some teensy reservations.

No more. This was a great concert, with all the trappings: lasers, fog, lights, videos, big screens, etc., etc. All of which would be pointless and cheesy if not for the music, and sweet Jesus, these guys were good — tight, amazingly loud but precise sound, rocking, ferocious guitar from Alex Lifeson, and complex arrangements with amazing musicianship from all three, but especially from Geddy Lee on bass and most especially from Neil Peart, the heart of the band.

My God, can that man play the motherfucking drums.

I mean, I’ve seen great drummers of all stripes over the years, including Max Roach and Keith Moon way back in my misty youth…but Peart was amazing. Two complete kits, one focused on the standard stuff and one on more esoteric pieces and electronic triggers. He did a solo at one point where the kits rotated and he switched thrones to play the “weird kit,” triggering all sorts of stuff that turned into a big band soundtrack — which he then played along with on the standard kit, swinging hard and free while videos of Krupa and Rich played behind him.

If this all sounds a little contrived…trust me, it wasn’t. I have a pretty sharp radar for spectacle that’s being used for its own pretentious sake, and this worked, and worked the way it is supposed to — in service to a larger aim. It was really great.

Funny — I’m not a big fan of the studio stuff, even after hearing some of it live last night (a lot of it, since it was a three hour show). I listened to some last night and it’s just not the same. I’m not a fan in the sense that I want to go out and buy a bunch of their stuff now.

But I will gladly go see them again, because this was a great live show.

(By the way….they know how to poke fun at themselves too. Lifeson’s set up was a row of four Marshall full stacks set up behind him. Lee’s amps weren’t visible on stage; behind him, instead of amps, was a giant case of rotissierie chickens that was the same size as Lifeson’s rig, all the birds merrily turning on their spits, with the word “HENHOUSE” emblazoned on the glass doors in the same script as the Marshall logo. Every once in a while, a guy dressed as a chef came out and basted them…and no one in the band made a single reference to it at any point during the show.)


Weekend musical extremes, both excellent/Some sad news

Saturday night concert: Black 47
Sunday night concert: Rush

More on these later, when I have time after work.

Also: Shannon Leigh, poet and slammer from Atlanta, was seriously injured in a diving accident this weekend and is in critical condition. (That’s all anybody seems to know.) I don’t know Shannon at all, but a member of the slam family is in trouble, and that’s all I need to know. Please send your thoughts, prayers, wishes, however you see them, out to her if you can.


For My Daughters, Martha and Emily

By now, it’s an open secret
that I made you up, worked you
until you were real enough
for what I needed. You were ready
to serve when called upon and
although you never drew
breath in simple daylight,
I could hear you breathing
in my sleep, which is where
we were all three most awake.

Yesterday, wide awake,
I thought I heard you
in the neighbor’s yard.
You were moving in
together, sisters, roommates,
and neither of you thought
to knock on the door
and tell me you were here,
and I tried to speak with you
but you couldn’t hear me.

I tell myself
that’s it’s natural,
the order of things.
I tell myself
there was nothing more
I could have done
for you, or you for me.
I know you’ve moved on
and forgotten me; I know
too much about what I put into you
to believe
it could have been otherwise.

Still, there are nights
when I stand up and read
what I wrote about you
to other people,
and for those minutes
we’re still family
and I realize
there’s a better man in there
than there is out here.


We are slaves to magical thinking

Wolf Blitzer, on CNN, talking about Tim Russert with a Catholic priest/theologian:

“So many people are asking this right now…how could a good man like Tim Russert die at 58? Why did this happen?”

Um, Wolf? I think it happened because he had some kind of cardiac arrest.

I think it happened because as far as I can tell, 100% of people die at some point regardless of their goodness or badness, and sometimes it comes at a moment that seems to make no sense. Death serenely comes and takes each of us regardless of our readiness, and you’d think we’d have figured that out by now and stopped asking such a ridiculous question.

I think we all ought to stop acting like there’s some kind of magic formula, ethical system, medication, religion, lifestyle change, or secret key that will keep it from happening. Questions like that one are part of the idiocy that feeds the Western obsession with immortality.

Stop saying, “…if I die.” You will. I will. We all will.

Tim Russert died today. I don’t know what killed him, but I bet it had nothing to do with his inherent goodness or badness; he died because his body stopped. End of story. Be sad, be upset, but stop being surprised, and stop acting like something unfair or extraordinary has taken place.


Duende’s show at the Ship

Was a good one, if I do say so myself. We dug out some obscure pieces — “Julie,” “Celia,” the closing section of the “Jim’s Fall” suite — and stayed away from “Americanized” with the exceptions of “Classic Rock” and “Where Do You Live?”

We also took a risk and Faro improvised along to “The Last Word” (better known as “Let’s Fuck”). This was HOT. He was in particularly fine form tonight, ripping up a blistering version of “Coda” — the last section of “Jim’s Fall.” But the bass line he laid down for “Last Word” was smoking, yea verily. I think we acquitted ourselves well enough on the piece that it may become part of the permanent repertoire.

Thanks to all who came out; I hope we did you proud.


Off to work

but wanted to remind everyone: DUENDE tonight at the Ship, 8:00. See you there.


Microburst in Worcester?

Think we just had one. Branches everywhere, one missed my car by three feet. Next door, a tree or most of one came down and tore down powerlines and crushed the neighbor’s tool shed. Sparks everywhere, although no apparent loss of power to anything except their house. I called 911; they said they were inundated with over a hundred calls — my first two attempts got busy signals.

I was outside putting out trash when all of this hit — huge wind, sudden horizontal rain, big trees blown level in the wind. I’ve stood outside in hurricanes before and this was scarier. Was going in when the branch/tree fell on the shed.

Everyone OK?


veteran

what he did when he young
was a secret to everyone.
he refused the trees’ offer
of consolation and stayed close
to the asphalt instead.
foot followed foot from here to
the next breakfast and he still
didn’t talk much about anything
even to strangers. his childhood was
forgotten. he made up stories
to spit out like an insect
that had flown into his mouth
and never been internalized.
he told people he’d been
born so salty his mother exploded
like an ant and his father ran
from the delivery room never to be seen
again. he recalled astonishing details
of fights and concerts so stunning
the listeners could hear the bands.
he fooled everyone, no one
bothered to check on anything
and he became successful. he was notorious
for blunt honesty. he learned to wear
suits on weekdays and plaid shorts on weekends.
he got bald and laid and stepped up.
he was a standup guy, a regular mensch,
a buddy and a pal. he filled in gaps.
stayed away from cliffs, kept a few close confidences
better than anyone the tellers knew. when he died
he left a headstone and a secret about a body
in the weeds somewhere faraway, casualty
of war or love he never said, never said a word
to anyone, no need to talk about it
since he’d become what the other guy
could have been and dead men tell no tales.


Two items for your agenda…

1.
Jane Cassady and Shanny Jean didn’t get to do their show at the Q on Sunday night, so you are honor bound to come to GotPoetry Live tonight to see them do their set and buy their stuff and help make up for the missed gig. That’s an order.

GotPoetry Live tonight, 7:30, 8 Governor Street, Reflections Cafe, Providence RI. 2.00 cover/1 Food or Drink Item minimum.

2.
Duende makes the scene as the feature at the Ship, Hotel Vernon, Kelley Square, Worcester, MA, on Thursday. Come for the poetry, the cheap ass ice cold beers, the bass antics, the general anarchy. 8:00 PM, loosely. Hat pass for the performers.


It’s official:

I am currently watching “NASCAR Now” for an analysis of the race I watched yesterday and which I have on my DVR for future viewing; I just checked the points on my fantasy race team and I’m actually thinking about making a comment on a NASCAR related forum in regard to another comment I take issue with.

Somehow, at the age of 48, I’ve become a Fan with a capital “F.”


the gospel according to our cars

“friends don’t let friends vote republican”

“liberalism is a mental disease”

“vote this way and save the country
you sexist or racist pig
if you’re not one you’re the other
and no matter what you are
if you’re not saved
you’ll be forever cast into the pit –”

this is the gist of
our declarations of disgust
with each other

i, i, i
own
the answers and
i, i, i
am the medium and the massage
which loosens the muscles of thought
i, i, i
am flabby as a baby
and i, i, i could care less if
i, i, i
grow up if someone else keeps
taking my shit for me, me, me
in fact,
giving a shit
is the toughest thing
i, i, i
do all day
because it’s harder to care
than it is to just be

look outside, it’s a lovely day
with my car in the yard telling you
i thought this was a free country
and that i don’t equate corporate interest
with patriotism
meanwhile the tv’s on
and i pretend to care about the nba finals
so i can have a superficial conversation with someone
in case i actually talk to someone
who isn’t in my social circle
who has a different car
who wears a different baseball cap
who i hate on principle because
he isn’t a poet or an artist or a baker
of erotic cakes and candies
who gets uptight once he’s safely around the corner
from the gay couple
with whom he’s shared hedge clippers
for eight years

he and his
vote with their feet or asses
to make sure the right people
get properly screwed for improper screwing
because certainly
that’s all this is about
the whole country’s more concerned
with improper screwing of all kinds
literal and figurative
we improperly screw with so many things
punishing select examples of improper screwing is
penance for what we think we should really be beaten for

so watching sexual predators get screwed is fun
watching teen panties win cheerleading competitions is fun
watching obviously guilty people die virtually is fun
watching injustice become a pop song is fun
unless it becomes a hit
and then it’s just selling out
which feels great while it’s happening
which increases hybrid sales to celebrities
which becomes a rising tide that lifts all boats just above foundering
which pushes the train back to the platform empty
which leaves the trees gray as a confederate

and watching confederates get sauced on a comedy special tonight is fun
because that makes it easier to forget that we insulted a black customer yesterday
if we even recall that the customer was there at all
watching every dumbass on TV speak with a southern accent is fun
writing dumbass dialogue in ersatz southern accents is fun
because we get to pretend that particular war is over
and all the bad things that were there before it are over
and all the bad things that happened afterward
are well positioned for our edutainment
somewhere well south of here

and if those people
don’t stop distributing free
abortions to the children
someone’s gonna have to wax them
so we can pry those babies
from their cold dead fingers

there’s so much more to say
hell, you can’t say enough good or bad
about us
but i, i, i
bet
i, i, i
can fit it all on the ass end
of the biggest car i can buy
with my short money

it all comes down to this

even though
i, i, i
don’t even know what i’m talking about
over half the time
i know THEY hate me

i don’t know any of THEM
i just know their bumpers are watching me
and i’m scared of THEM because I know
i, i, i
would wreck them for my gospel if
i, i, i
could get away with it
and i, i, i
can see
THEY
feel the same


Weird question

Does anybody find that tattoos — older ones, not new ones — itch somewhat more than other skin in the heat?

i’m trying to figure out if it’s psychosomatic or a function of the ink under the skin.