“friends don’t let friends vote republican”

“liberalism is a mental disease”

“vote this way and save the country
you sexist or racist pig
if you’re not one you’re the other
and no matter what you are
if you’re not saved
you’ll be forever cast into the pit –”

this is the gist of
our declarations of disgust
with each other

i, i, i
own
the answers and
i, i, i
am the medium and the massage
which loosens the muscles of thought
i, i, i
am flabby as a baby
and i, i, i could care less if
i, i, i
grow up if someone else keeps
taking my shit for me, me, me
in fact,
giving a shit
is the toughest thing
i, i, i
do all day
because it’s harder to care
than it is to just be

look outside, it’s a lovely day
with my car in the yard telling you
i thought this was a free country
and that i don’t equate corporate interest
with patriotism
meanwhile the tv’s on
and i pretend to care about the nba finals
so i can have a superficial conversation with someone
in case i actually talk to someone
who isn’t in my social circle
who has a different car
who wears a different baseball cap
who i hate on principle because
he isn’t a poet or an artist or a baker
of erotic cakes and candies
who gets uptight once he’s safely around the corner
from the gay couple
with whom he’s shared hedge clippers
for eight years

he and his
vote with their feet or asses
to make sure the right people
get properly screwed for improper screwing
because certainly
that’s all this is about
the whole country’s more concerned
with improper screwing of all kinds
literal and figurative
we improperly screw with so many things
punishing select examples of improper screwing is
penance for what we think we should really be beaten for

so watching sexual predators get screwed is fun
watching teen panties win cheerleading competitions is fun
watching obviously guilty people die virtually is fun
watching injustice become a pop song is fun
unless it becomes a hit
and then it’s just selling out
which feels great while it’s happening
which increases hybrid sales to celebrities
which becomes a rising tide that lifts all boats just above foundering
which pushes the train back to the platform empty
which leaves the trees gray as a confederate

and watching confederates get sauced on a comedy special tonight is fun
because that makes it easier to forget that we insulted a black customer yesterday
if we even recall that the customer was there at all
watching every dumbass on TV speak with a southern accent is fun
writing dumbass dialogue in ersatz southern accents is fun
because we get to pretend that particular war is over
and all the bad things that were there before it are over
and all the bad things that happened afterward
are well positioned for our edutainment
somewhere well south of here

and if those people
don’t stop distributing free
abortions to the children
someone’s gonna have to wax them
so we can pry those babies
from their cold dead fingers

there’s so much more to say
hell, you can’t say enough good or bad
about us
but i, i, i
bet
i, i, i
can fit it all on the ass end
of the biggest car i can buy
with my short money

it all comes down to this

even though
i, i, i
don’t even know what i’m talking about
over half the time
i know THEY hate me

i don’t know any of THEM
i just know their bumpers are watching me
and i’m scared of THEM because I know
i, i, i
would wreck them for my gospel if
i, i, i
could get away with it
and i, i, i
can see
THEY
feel the same