fengi has this idea of reposting old posts on Friday to look back on where he’s been. I like it, and i’m going to do it too, as often as I can remember to do it…
so here’s the first post I ever made here…at least, the first substantial one. I posted 5 times on June 30, 2003; the first four were little techie comments like “Ok, now this one’s from the mail client, kinda cool” and stuff like that.
Here’s the actual first post with any content to it…
So.
Why am I doing this? I mean, hell, I’ve got a weekly column where I sound off regularly on matters poetic, right? Isn’t that enough?
I guess I’m just tired of being on the edge of the national scene…Because I tour so little, and have stepped away from slam as my way of getting out there, I feel like folks “out there” don’t know me all that well.
And I am frankly sad about that. I feel like I’m aging away from performance poetry; not so much from the practice of it, but more from the audience for it. I’m not sexy enough (not in the physically attractive sense, although I don’t fit there much either) to really make my impact from the the opening bell; I’ve got a more measured approach, and that ain’t slam — at least, not anymore.
Selfishly, I want a larger audience for my work…and I’m not getting it through the column, by reading in Worcester with the occasional NYC/NJ/DC appearances, or by going out to CA once every couple of years…and I’m casting about for ways to create it.
Last but not least? Lots of people I respect and care about are here. I want to stay in touch with them.
So, I want to find a way for those of us who are disenchanted with slam (or, more appropriately, those whom slam has become disenchanted with) to continue reaching the audience for performance poetry; and to create a larger one from its periphery.
This is why I’m focusing on things like the smalltown reading I’ve started in my hometown. I someday envision a whole network of them; slowly creating an audience for this work beyond the urban centers; bringing oral performance back into civic life and social ritual from its place as a now fairly commonplace thread in the fabric of modern city life.
That’s why I’m here; that and the occasional fart joke.
Come say hi.
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It’s amazing how little has changed. The column was retired and then came back as a monthly; SPEAK, the small town reading I referred to in the post above, eventually shut down late last year, three years after I gave it up; but all the rest, including the ridiculous angst, is still operative and valid.
Indicating that I am, pretty much, a failure on all counts.
I can’t recall my old Diaryland name or anything, but looking at this means I’m coming up on my fifth anniversary of LJ blogging after 3-4 years of Diaryland blogging. Nearly a decade of blather…and I’m still blathering. You’d think I’d have learned by now to just shut up and fade away.
However, there’s one thing that’s hopeful…the first commenter ever on my LJ was mstegosaurus, and he was followed in rapid succession by insafemode, lowhumcrush, campana, and loudpoet . Some of the usernames have changed, but the people are are still here and still dear. Not sure I’d still be here, in all senses of the word, without these and so many other people.
I guess that’s not a failure of anything at all. Score one, anyway.
Dark Matter 
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