It doesn’t remotely compare to what theklute‘s been through, but annoying and upsetting nonetheless.

A couple of years ago I had a fairly serious group of procedures done that involved a double hernia repair, removal of scar tissue from an old knife wound in my lower abdomen, and a few other things.

Since then, I’ve had occasional bouts of abdominal pain, but nothing so regular or debilitating that I did much about it. I chalked it up to age.

I recently learned that the mesh patches used in a lot of hernia surgeries are being recalled for serious failure problems. The symptoms they list are pretty similar to some of what I’ve been experiencing.

So I called to see if I could find out if I received the defective patches, and I learned that my surgeon has closed his practice — and from the tenor of the comments, it was because of malpractice suits. Not sure of that, still researching.

Now I’m trying to get through the red tape to get my records to see if I need the second surgery to remove these fucking things from my gut before they kill me with a perforated bowel.

Life. It’s what happens while you’re trying to live.

There are times when I hate being here — the dirt, the general unfriendliness, the Byzantine culture that makes it hard to ever feel like you belong…

And then there are other times…like now.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070614/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage

That time of year…

Just did a massive clean out. Mostly inactive accounts, a few I just don’t read much or enjoy much.

Drop me a line if you’re off and want back on.

We’re making a concerted effort to push the bar higher for the poems at Gotpoetry.com. If you’re not there or haven’t been for a while, c’mon by and add your voice.

http://www.gotpoetry.com

And tonight at Gotpoetry Live we’ve got Christopher Johnson for a feature. Next week, we’ve got the beat stylings of Sympetalous, and Sylvia Bagaglio kicks in for her feature on June 26th.

Hope to see you there.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070611/ts_afp/usiraqmilitaryunrest

In case we’ve forgotten, this is how we got Al-Quaeda in the first place.

A good feature by the Youth Slammers — some refreshingly interesting voices.

If the crowd had been a touch more enthusiastic, or less interested in socializing, or more drawn by the work in the open mike, or…who knows…they might have heard something cool.

It’s sad.

Always hard to assess the balance between rampant disinterest because of sheer ignorance or because of sheer boredom. Not sure what to say here about that — but I do think the passion that some of us have for poetry isn’t much of a factor in that reading anymore.

Poetry readings are just another trendy place to be. How odd, considering that when I was young they were decidedly untrendy. I think that was better in some ways — it was a guarantee of sorts that if you were there, being there mattered to you, and it mattered to you more than being anywhere else.

I’m not sure what else to say. Maybe I’m just an idiot to care that much?

“The Deadliest Catch” that is so addictive?

I do not understand how, in spite of years of therapy, meds, and general self-awareness of my faults, foibles, and characteristics, I can still be such a jerk sometimes.

How does one break the habits of a lifetime? When do we truly understand what is habit, what is biology, what is culture and what is ingrained, and how do we ever learn to compensate for what we can and learn to live with what we can’t?

Everytime I get this way I look at myself and see a weak, weak man who has caused more damage to himself and others than can be stomached. I’m not a bad guy, I tell myself, and then I look into myself again and decide that I have no clue about whether I’m a bad guy or not.

People will say that we’re all a mix of things, and I know somehow that’s true; but in the daily course, things seem to play out more often one way or another.

There comes a point when one can no longer hide the fact of one’s own emotional and spiritual decrepitude; but what you do then, I think, is immaterial to the balance of your legacy. In other words, it’s all too little too late.

but we’ll never know it.

Do we go on if we can’t know it? Or do we just sink into the daily swamp and let hope go?

Paris Hilton, whose sentence for probation violation was reduced to 23 days for good behavior before she ever got behind bars (I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one), has been released after serving three days.

I mention this only because my head exploded when it was covered as breaking news on CNN.

I pasted it back together, typed this, and now video of her release is being shown on CNN labeled as “New Developments.” This has been followed by actual commentary by the anchors.

The tape just let go, and I’m going back to bed while the epoxy cures. To think that they covered this and not the fact that Bono got a haircut before meeting with the G-8 leaders!

ETA: Oh, Christ. Now they’re holding a LIVE NEWS CONFERENCE and telling everyone that her sentence is back up to 40 days on house arrest with the magic anklet.

More jewelry, in other words.

In beautiful Corning, NY.

Hey, house prices are INSANE here! You can pick up starter homes and fixer-uppers for around 55-70 grand; decent homes with land are 150-220 grand.

Coming from Massachusetts, where you can’t touch anything at all under 200K, it’s an eye-opener.