NBC said the package contained a rambling and often incoherent 23-page written statement, 28 video clips and 43 photos.

“I just hate that a lot of people not used to seeing that type of image had to see it,” he said.

Oh, I dunno. Personally, I kinda think that’s a good thing.

People all over the world regularly watch friends, relatives, children, parents, neighbors dying. They see dismembered, starved, sick, smelly, disfigured people live in front of them all the time without the benefit of the television filter. They see the bombs, the random gunfire, the tsunamis, the hurricanes, the sewage in the open channels of their streets carrying dysentery and cholera to them, the AIDS virus depopulating whole countries before their eyes. We don’t get all that upset about their having to see it live.

I really have no problem with this video being shown to a desensitized nation that spends more time worrying about Sanjaya than starvation. Maybe that nut in the video ranting about how his obsession with the insensitivities of the rich was leading him toward mass murder might make one person recognize a similar disaster in the making, and take steps to stop it.

As always, I have a certain level of sympathy (admittedly very small in the this case) to anyone dealing with a mental illness. And without justifying what he did, I can say that I’ve felt that way myself, often, about the shallowness of some folks with money. When I went to prep school I hated the rich kids and the legacies for their easy materialism and callous disregard for those of us not to the manor born. I get where this guy was coming from.

He was obviously, recognizably crazy; it was identified well prior to the events; people who knew used their judgement well or badly or to the best of their ability and made their choices as to how to deal. This happened.

It will happen again. We live in a world that combines great good with great evil. Get used to it. You can’t escape.

And while you’re waiting, watch the video once or twice, and remember it’s a real person in real pain who’s really, really, unbalanced in his anger toward something that is worth being angry about.

finally got everyone’s voicemails — couldn’t retrieve them while I was up there, due to some technical glitch. i wasn’t ignoring you. not that anyone said i was, but just in case anyone felt that way.

be advised that i’m not answering phones, email, or any other stuff tonight — tired, overwhelmed, and just need to hibernate and regroup.

more in the am.

I just woke up from snoozing with the TV on to hear Floyd Westerman Crow, a Lakota actor, shilling for a pain remedy of some sort (something like Ben-Gay, I think) called “Lakota.” “Try Lakota,” he said. “You have nothing to lose but your pain.”

Then I heard the computer ping out a mail alert. It was for a piece of pharmaceutical spam from Adelbert Patel, and the subject was “pork.”

Based on this I expect that any day now I’ll receive a piece of spam for “White People” headache powder from Ethelred Gupta. The subject will be “smoked sausage.”

I fly home this evening. God, I can’t wait.

If you are trying to get in touch with me this week, you should know I have a very fucked up phone and an international inability to retrieve my voicemails. The latter should be fixed shortly but it sucks at the moment.

I won’t even get into the grilling I got at Canadian Immigration this afternoon. (Yes, I said Immigration. Not Customs. Long story related to the Canadian strictness regarding people who come to work in Canada from the US and whether or not we might be taking jobs away from Canadians.)

Grrr…

OK:

Baltimore: after a 1.5 hour shutdown of the NJ Turnpike, we flew into XandO and set up in lightning time for a good set — lots of nervous energy translated into good stage presence and big book sales. Paper Moon Diner afterwards for good food, good talk; we stayed with Chris August who helped us solve a potentially rough car problem and fed us well.

Newark: only venue where we did the entire “Jim’s Fall” suite. Small crowd but again, lots of merch sales and good conversation, both at the venue and the Eagle Diner afterward. (I love the Eagle, by the way.) Then, staying for the next two days with Nigel, Matt, and Hannah.

Also: I strayed and smoked a bit, but I’m back to being a non-smoker — no worries.

Wilmington: a stage, a disco ball, a bar — what more do you need? We did a good set if a tad mellow — our linkage between pieces and our comfort level onstage really gelled here. After that exhaustion and panic set in when we read that there was a potential of an ice storm in NE — briefly considered driving home at 1 AM, but thought better of it and left at 5:45 instead, in cats and dogs buckets of rain all the way up the coast.

To respond to our own critique of the show and the reasonable thoughts of Matt and Liam, we decided to get a tad dangerous for the last gig in Cambridge — on the way home, we developed (a cappella) a bass and poem version of “Punk” to give us another high energy dynamic piece. If you saw it in Cambridge last night, you were seeing it for the first time — seriously. We’d never even tried it before with the bass.

The Cambridge show — well, Adam Stone opened as only he can with the Trio behind him; Faro and I did the rock and roll poetry show and felt good about it (great acoustics and sound system, by the way); Iyeoka Okoawo was her sterling self and the band smoked; Marc Smith did some amazing renditions of Sandburg poems and his own work (LOVED the bebop stuff).

And if anyone wants to know what it’s like to perform onstage in a freeform poetry jam with Marc Smith, Regie Gibson, Richard Cambridge, Adam Stone, Iyeoka Okoawo, and Michael Brown, all backed by the Jeff Robinson Trio (Jeff Robinson/sax, Jerome Deupree/drums, and Blake Newman/upright bass) plus Faro tearing it up on the 5-string electric bass with all of us tossing in added percussion and stuff…

it’s not bad. Hell of a way to end a tour, I’ll say that.

Afterwards, off to Cambridge Commons with the gang to drink and shoot shit…and then home.

Now it’s worky-work stuff for a day or two then off to Toronto for a job.

Later, all…and thanks to all who supported us and took us in.

before the show tonight.

Great gig last night — more later. Thanks Wilmington.

Kurt Vonnegut’s dead. I suspect he doesn’t care. Neither do I. His work’s still here — who cares about the man’s shell if the spirit lives on?

has been GREAT. Show in Baltimore was rushed (due to our late arrival, due to a 1 and 1/2 hour shutdown of the NJ Turnpike) but damn fine, with a great and enthusiastic crowd and a good set.

The Newark DE set was excellent; we were surprised by the arrival of a_solitaryman who drove down from Massachusetts to see us! Cool crowd and great poetry in one of my perennial favorite venues.

We’ve still got tonight’s set in Wilmington, and then the show on Thursday in Cambridge — word is a Baltimorean is driving up to see us on Thursday! WTF??? But how grateful we are…

I’ll do more detailed posting later in the week, but suffice it to say this is SO gratifying. Thanks to everyone…

Monday the 9th:

Slamicide, XandO, Baltimore, MD.

Tuesday the 10th:
Worddancing, Newark Arts Alliance, Newark, DE

Wednesday the 11th:
The DelaWhere Slam, Wilmington DE (I gotta get more/better info on this, huh?)

Thursday the 12th:
Final show in Cambridge with Adam Stone, Duende, Iyeoka, and Marc Smith with the Jeff Robinson Trio at the Central Square YMCA.

Chapbooks/CDs are ready. We leave tomorrow as soon as the CPAP device comes home.

Also, just for fun…

Create your own visitor map!

See you somewhere out there, I hope…

An expanded “Jim’s Fall” that includes all the pieces on the CD so folks get both text and performance. Kinko’s in the AM. How wonderful for Easter.

It’ll be available for the tour, too.

Going to try and sleep a bit now. I’m starting to get a little hallucinatory.

I had forgotten, after several years of faithful CPAP use, how awful untreated sleep apnea can be.

I avoided taking any meds because I was, frankly, afraid I might not wake up if I choked in the night.

And I choked in the night. Often. All night long. I’m exhausted and feel pretty sick from lack of sleep.

The good news is that the hotel found my equipment and is shipping it.

One more night of this shit for sure, possibly one more after that if they can’t get it to me tomorrow. I will make the tour and we will be in Baltimore on Monday for the show.

Title for an episode of a Discovery Channel nature series:

“Thompson’s Gazelle: The Popcorn Shrimp Of The African Savannah”

Just opened my luggage to discover that I somehow completely spaced on packing my CPAP device when I left the hotel in Charlotte.

You know…the thing that keeps me breathing at night.

I’ve called the hotel and they can’t give me any info until the AM for a variety of absurd reasons.

If it’s found (and it had better be) then it’s going to take at least till Sunday to get it back.

I’m investigating loaners and such but it being a holiday weekend it’s going to be tough to pull off. Certainly, nothing tonight. I’ve called my doctor and the sleep center and no dice till Monday.

It’s going to be a hellacious couple of nights.

If I don’t get it back by Sunday this may affect the tour as I won’t be able to leave until I get my hands on one on Monday. FUCK.

I am eejit.