I am having a great deal of difficulty memorizing my poems lately. Unusual for me, as I tend to be able to get a poem off page with very little effort. Even things I’ve read a million times are becoming challenging.

While I could (and should) put some of this down to age, I do know (from conversations with my doctor) that there’s a greater than even possibility that at least one of the meds I take regularly is having its own effect on my memory.

Eliminating the medication is not an option.

I’m faced with the likelihood that I’ll be slamming in the semifinals next week on page. If I make it to the finals, ditto. And if I make it on the team…

Here’s the dilemma.

I have noticed, reading through my friends’ list recently and recalling other conversations over the years, that a lot of folks are deathly opposed to slammers not having their work memorized. While I’ve never held that opinion myself, and could frankly care less for myself, I am concerned that my walking up on stage with the paper in hand may harm the chances of any team I’m on.

So I’m considering dropping out of the team selection process. I find this distasteful to say the least — it is pandering to a prejudice — but I am a realist. While I know the paper is close to being an accomodation for a disability, the audience will not know that.

My question to you is not whether or not I should drop out — I’ll make that decision on my own. My question is this: is this really that much of a handicap? How strong is this perception that the poet on page is less skilled than the poet off page?