Well, the battery is shot…but the real culprit was the cable that broke in my hand when I tried to take it off the terminal. So now the new battery doesn’t work, either.

I’ll replace the cable tomorrow in my dad’s warm garage — fuck this outdoor automotive shit.

On the other hand, I splurged for one of those portable jump starters and it works very nicely. It’s recharging in my living room right now, so I will be able to get to the house and fix it tomorrow without bugging anyone for a jump.