I am tired of:

— poets who self-promote endlessly in a really ego driven way
— vicious posts to e-mail lists that end with “one love”
— people who believe winning a slam = being a good poet overall
— ridiculous claims as to personal popularity
— my own envy at those who succeed through such petty crap

— in fact, I’m just tired of trying to be myself in a scene that seems to thrive on masks

I’m still angry with the world, but it’s moving toward a deep sadness now.

It’s hard to deal with a situation where there are no clear rules, and where the conflicting emotions all run so deep. All you can do is feel your way toward something like peace.

It’s even harder when you are a peripheral player and don’t know how to support the people going thru the worst of it.

I’m fine, by the way…it’s not a situation that involves me directly. It’s not 9/11 related. It’s just something I want to help with and I’ve got no personal resources to help the people involved.

Fuck Steve Irwin and his need to dominate animals. I never liked the guy, and I find his death by a relatively innocuous animal to be more than a little poetic.

However, he long ago said he wanted to have his death shown, if it happened and was filmed during one of his adventures. He wanted people to understand the nature of what he did, to know that he died doing what he loved, and to underscore that interactions with the natural world carry a level of uncertainty and danger.

I can respect that. So let’s see the damn film and quit being so squeamish, y’all. It was the man’s express wish.

While we’re at it, I think Americans need to see a little more actual, closeup death on their TV screens and a little less sanitized stuff. Let’s make ogrish.com the background to Katie Couric’s newscasts from now on.

I’m kinda hating on the world tonight, for a reason I can’t divulge, and I don’t care who knows it. I’m in a Robinson Jeffers kinda mood. Blow the fucker up and I’ll be happy to fry with the rest of creation.