As usual, Patricia was “wow.”

After an intense women’s open mike and a short break, she read a mix of old stuff and new, including (by request) “Skinhead,” which I don’t think I’ve heard her read in — Jeez, eight years maybe? She also did, once again, “34” and once again made me tear up.

Glad I went.

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Every time I complete a project, I find myself staying away from writing poetry for a short bit — two or three weeks, usually.

That’s happening right now, in the aftermath of preparing and premiering “Jim’s Fall.” Almost as if the effort it took required a break to cool down a bit.

I’ve learned not to worry about this, but I still feel the tug of the phantom poem — the one that’s not there but makes you think it is. I’ve tried to capture this one once or twice, and it’s been fruitless — so I’ve learned to let it go.

For someone who writes everyday and tries to get a solid new poem together two-three times a week, it ain’t easy.

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More later — early morning and a day of errands ahead.

In order to get to sleep:

0.5 of one individually wrapped herbal supplement

3 Lithium

1 Shot of Maker’s Mark

Mix well and drop off.

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Anyone going to see pswordwoman at Smith College tomorrow night? I’m planning on it.

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I no longer believe poetry can change the world. I’m not sure I ever really did, but I’m certain now.

I’m wearing a T-shirt I got in Austin that shows the silhouette of a poet at the mike on the front with the letters “POET” on the picture.

On the back. the shirt explains that “poet” means “professional oratory education technician.”

Christ — I don’t want to make my poems educational. If people take a lesson or decide on a course of action as a result of the poem, that’s their business. I’ve become as skeptical of that effort as I am of commercials that get people to buy stuff.

I’m not a writer of persuasive speech — at least, not anymore, not primarily.

I don’t want to educate. What I’d like to think I do is illuminate — shine a light on hidden stuff and let people see it differently.

Again, if things shift as a result, fine. But that’s not my primary job. And I’m not even going to try to pretend otherwise anymore.

Remarkably liberating to give up all that heavy responsibility. 😉 Let others try to change the world through poetry. I wish them luck.

I’m just showing this off to someone….

The personal details of my life in the last year have been pretty chaotic.

Today, I’m just feeling tired of them. Today, I feel like I’ve been wasting my time.

Today, I decided to take greater control of them.

We’ll see what happens next.

when you’re sitting on the porch in the early AM and you find yourself warming your hands on your computer.

Faro and I did “Jim’s Fall” last night live for the first time with a real audience last night.

I have to say this was the most creatively satisfying thing I’ve done in years. When we got up on that stage, it was like everything fell into place even more so than at our rehearsals (which were amazing).

The poems elicited laughter in the right spots, gasps in the right spots, and the ending impact was what I’d hoped, especially with the accompaniment that we’d worked up for the last three poems.

Keep in mind that we did exactly two sessions before we recorded — Faro did the first five poems one night, the second five on the second, and we decided to get a track down on the third to see how it sounded. When we heard the playback, we looked at each other and said that was good enough.

The CD has a kind of dry, insular quality to it — because we weren’t trying to do a final take. The first recording was really just for us to listen to how it sounded. But the lo-fi aspects of it make it sound claustrophobic and creepier (I think). You have to understand that we did this live, straight through, with me leaning above the internal microphone on the digital 4-track while Faro played, w/o effects, about 6 feet away through his smaller Fender amp (we used a Gallien-Kruger head and an Ampeg cab last night, with a handful of effects on two pieces only).

It was a great night. And Faro KILLED in his solo encore. At 18, the guy has so much upside potential it’s scary.

This wouldn’t have worked without him…I’ll never do these poems again without him backing me up.

Next step: we’re in NYC at Bar 13 on October 9; I think we’ll try to book some more shows together as well, and maybe work up some music for a couple of other of my poems.

As for Jim…well, I have to continue with the series now, as I have to literally get him out of the hole he’s in at the end of this series. Not right away, though; I need to let it simmer a bit.

Thanks to all who came out and bought books, CDs, and/or offered love and support. Being able to stretch in the atmosphere of the Java Hut was crucial to making the night work, and I can’t offer enough of my gratitude to let you know how I feel today. I know Faro feels the same.

Ten minutes till the feature…

I’m uncharacteristically nervous, but this is going to kill…

Back in an hour or so…

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Damn. What a set.

For immediate release, or relief if you so desire:

Tony Brown, Worcester-area poet and general lowlife, will be performing a suite of poems at the Java Hut, 1073-A Main Street, Worcester, MA on Sunday night, Sept. 24th.

Sez Brown, “These poems, once known as “The Jim Poems” but now titled “Jim’s Fall,” recount a story of suburban madness and desperation. I’ll be performing them to a live soundtrack created by an extraordinary bass player, Steven Cafaro (aka known as “Faro,” pronounced “Fah-row”).

We’ll have both a chapbook and a CD of the work available for purchase on Sunday night — chapbook is 6 dollars, CD is 7, and both for 10. Such a deal.”

Brown is the author of numerous chapbooks, is a monthly columnist for Gotpoetry.com ( http://www.gotpoetry.com ), and has published his work in several anthologies. Faro is a member of a number of bands including the band “Empathy.”

The Poets’s Asylum, the weekly reading at the Java Hut, kicks off with an open mike around 7:30. Feature will follow the open.

For more information, directions, etc., please visit the Asylum website: http://www.poetsasylum.org

Back now from the slam which was just an open reading and there was a beer and a poem about the origin of beer and it was a good night.

And now, bed. Thanks to the Orlando scene for being good company and good poets over the last few days…you’ve saved me from the accountants and auditors for two nights running. I’m grateful.

Work is done. The earrings are back in. I’m headed for the slam. Bye.

Cool shit. Tod and I started with a quick meal and a beer at a small downtown cafe (the place where Dani O’s slam happens), then sucked down another couple at a nearby bar, and then we went to the inaugural night of Diverse Words, a reading in a small, cool vegan cafe in another part of town. Big crowd, lots of good words. The night ended with a tag/cipher out in front of the building after the rain stopped.

I’m back in the Big Plastic Hotel now; will be working tomorrow, and then off to the slam tomorrow night.

Yay. Fun.

is where I’m at right now, and I don’t mean Bloom.

valis429 and I are heading out to grab some food and see some poeticness later. If you’re out and about around here, stop by wherever it is that we’re going.

It should be clear that I don’t know where that is, so don’t ask me.

and it ought to piss SOMEONE off.

 
The Zero Point Zero Regular Column!

Very much more than Nothing!

The layout for the chapbook is done. I need to find a picture for the cover, but that’s about it.

The new page imposition program I found for Mac, a freeware thingie called Cocoabooklet, is pretty easy to use and it seems to do the trick. I guess the sample copy will tell the tale.

I’ve renamed the book “Jim’s Fall.” It seems to capture the central metaphor and also allows for a second suite of poems to follow Jim’s continuing story.

Whew.

Next up: the CD. As I said, minor post-production stuff; I’m going to give it a try myself.

I ought to update the feature list:

Sept. 24 — Java Hut (w/Faro)

Oct 9 — Bar 13, NYC (w/Faro)

Nov. 13 — Stone Soup Poets, Cambridge MA

March 2007 — d’Alzon Reading, Assumption College, Worcester

I’m in Orlando next week on Tuesday and Wednesday. No poetry scheduled, but I’m looking.

If anyone’s looking for features, lemme know and we’ll talk.