1.
when a man
grabbed me from behind
i turned
and cut him
did not stop to see
what happened
ran as fast as i could
back to the party
two friends helped me
scrub off the blood
and someone else
lent me a shirt

i went home that night
my parents never knew

i have watched the news for years

still don’t know
what happened

2.
she was really pretty
if i could have recalled her name
i would have called her

3.
i stole
a book of robert bly’s poetry
and later had him
sign it
this was wrong in so many ways
i still have the book

4.
i should have called her
i should have called her
i never should have called her
who was she
who was i that i thought i could call her

i should have hit him
i should not have hit him
i should never have pulled my knife

i am glad i pulled my knife

years later i saw the one
i should not have pulled the knife on
in a club

he backed away from me
both hands raised

it felt good

you’re the indian, right
he said

something like that
i said

i like indians, he said

i stepped toward him
he fled

it felt good

5.
there is only so much
of yourself
you can handle
before you have to start
dividing and conquering

i will own this
i will not own that
i am this because
i was that

you
don’t really know me
you never will

i know me
but not all at once