ok.

earlier today i got into a huge fight with an old friend on her LJ.

it was in regard to a statement she made about her perceptions of religion. i took offense to the way it was framed, she was shocked and hurt that i was upset, and it escalated from there.

i’ve had a few hours to calm down since then.

but i haven’t. not really.

i regret the emotion and some of my harsher presentation of my concerns, and for that, i’m sorry. i do not wish to rupture the friendship.

but i’m still upset over the situation in general.

here’s why.

i have frequently been on the receiving end of dismissive comments about my being “politically correct.” i hate that phrase with a passion, because it implies a certain lack of sincerity and/or concern with surfaces over substance.

i am NOT politically correct. what i am is thoughtful about how people’s words so often reveal inner thinking and, perhaps, the influences on their actions.

i’m a poet. words matter to me, perhaps more than they do other people, perhaps more even than to some other poets. i think they have power to hurt and to heal.

now, i don’t recall that anyone in this discussion used the term “politically correct” (well, maybe i did), but it certainly took on the tone of one of those discussions, especially when someone tells you you’re being “too sensitive,” or that people were “overreacting.”

why is it that the people who have given offense are the ones who get to decide whether we are overreacting, or are being too sensitive? if i suggest that they are underreacting, or are being too insensitive, i am dismissed.

i can’t hep but feel that there is an inherent condescension in action when the rules of debate are set without your input.

now, i can’t change that this happened. but it is incumbent on me to practice what i preach. therefore:

in regard to this afternoon’s discussion: if i offended anyone, anyone at all, i apologize. it was not my intent, but i do understand that sometimes my words have unintended consequences, and may have hidden stings i am ignorant of. the only right thing for me to do in that circumstance is apologize.

I can’t help it.

I get incensed over words that hurt.

I get mad when language that expresses superiority is used in a cavalier fashion.

I am not politically correct. I am conscious of the power of words.

They have power to me, for me. I ask for that power to be respected.

That’s all.

knowing full well it’s going to take an hour and a half at least to drive the 28 miles to the office.

snow. it’s not just for the Donner Party anymore.

in other extravagant spending news, i bought a new Palm pilot yesterday when i discovered my existing one couldn’t be configured to work with a Mac. (a Tungsten E2, for the tech geeks among you.)

eh. the Clie was three years old anyway. it was only a matter of time.

onward…