wait

it’s too easy to talk about feeling cold and alone
this early in the morning.
right now, for instance,
i am both cold and alone,

but since it’s 20 something outside
and this bedroom is unheated
and the alone part — well,
let’s put that aside for the moment;

since those things are true
it would be difficult for me not to be
cold
and alone.

there are times
when you just have to be
the way you are. there are times
when the way you are

is perfect. it’s not as if the night
could switch to day at your whim,
or the body you crave could be yours
for the asking.

it’s not as if lighting a fire
can solve everything. there are times
when all it does
is burn everything down.

still, scorched earth
can become
fertile ground
if you are willing to wait a bit.

so, it’s cold again. it’s night again.
i am alone again. the matches
still sit on the bedside table, and what happens next
will be perfect, no matter what that is.