y’know, when it comes to insomnia

i have prescribed remedies at hand. ambien, seroquel and the like.

i just hate how dull they make me feel the next day.

i feel more alert after two hours of unmedicated sleep than i do after eight hours of drugged sleep.

maybe i was not meant to sleep regularly. maybe i am one of those who find other ways and sleeping at night is a form of social conformism.

maybe i’m just scared of the dark, of oblivion.

i don’t really dream, so there’s not even a chance at entertainment. maybe sleep is just fucking boring and i stay up because it’s more interesting.

or maybe it’s because i see too many faces when i close my eyes.