I had a bit of a meltdown last night.
Sorry to those of you who read it. It’s been deleted.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The news from NPS is ugly. And there’s no joy for me in hearing it.
Maybe it’s time we stopped fucking around and took care of some of this shit.
If it looks like things might be changing, I’ll come back in.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Does anybody know anything about dealing with people? Some good, simple rules to make it easier?
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
Dark Matter 
August 6th, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Use “I” statements when arguing a point (Never “You this and you that”)
Batt your eyelashes a lot.
Melissa
August 6th, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Use “I” statements when arguing a point (Never “You this and you that”)
Batt your eyelashes a lot.
Melissa
August 6th, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Use “I” statements when arguing a point (Never “You this and you that”)
Batt your eyelashes a lot.
Melissa
August 6th, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Use “I” statements when arguing a point (Never “You this and you that”)
Batt your eyelashes a lot.
Melissa
August 6th, 2004 at 8:53 pm
Use “I” statements when arguing a point (Never “You this and you that”)
Batt your eyelashes a lot.
Melissa
August 6th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I remind myself that every person is inherently selfish, with their own viewpoint, motivations, and needs, which may not be anything like mine. I then try to step into their brain, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand what they need, and most importantly, discover their fears.
If I can figure out what someone is afraid of, then I know what will trigger defensiveness in them–and defensiveness is the great divider. So I then tailor my interaction–from body language to word choice to ideas presented–so that I am moving forward with my own needs and protecting my vulnerable spots in a way that doesn’t threaten them, and that also addresses their needs.
And as for figuring out what someone wants/needs/fears, I primarily use my intuition, but will sometimes ask directly (choosing my words, intonation, facial expression, etc. carefully) if I’m having trouble crawling into their brains on my own.
That’s how I do it, anyway. 🙂
August 6th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I remind myself that every person is inherently selfish, with their own viewpoint, motivations, and needs, which may not be anything like mine. I then try to step into their brain, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand what they need, and most importantly, discover their fears.
If I can figure out what someone is afraid of, then I know what will trigger defensiveness in them–and defensiveness is the great divider. So I then tailor my interaction–from body language to word choice to ideas presented–so that I am moving forward with my own needs and protecting my vulnerable spots in a way that doesn’t threaten them, and that also addresses their needs.
And as for figuring out what someone wants/needs/fears, I primarily use my intuition, but will sometimes ask directly (choosing my words, intonation, facial expression, etc. carefully) if I’m having trouble crawling into their brains on my own.
That’s how I do it, anyway. 🙂
August 6th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I remind myself that every person is inherently selfish, with their own viewpoint, motivations, and needs, which may not be anything like mine. I then try to step into their brain, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand what they need, and most importantly, discover their fears.
If I can figure out what someone is afraid of, then I know what will trigger defensiveness in them–and defensiveness is the great divider. So I then tailor my interaction–from body language to word choice to ideas presented–so that I am moving forward with my own needs and protecting my vulnerable spots in a way that doesn’t threaten them, and that also addresses their needs.
And as for figuring out what someone wants/needs/fears, I primarily use my intuition, but will sometimes ask directly (choosing my words, intonation, facial expression, etc. carefully) if I’m having trouble crawling into their brains on my own.
That’s how I do it, anyway. 🙂
August 6th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I remind myself that every person is inherently selfish, with their own viewpoint, motivations, and needs, which may not be anything like mine. I then try to step into their brain, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand what they need, and most importantly, discover their fears.
If I can figure out what someone is afraid of, then I know what will trigger defensiveness in them–and defensiveness is the great divider. So I then tailor my interaction–from body language to word choice to ideas presented–so that I am moving forward with my own needs and protecting my vulnerable spots in a way that doesn’t threaten them, and that also addresses their needs.
And as for figuring out what someone wants/needs/fears, I primarily use my intuition, but will sometimes ask directly (choosing my words, intonation, facial expression, etc. carefully) if I’m having trouble crawling into their brains on my own.
That’s how I do it, anyway. 🙂
August 6th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I remind myself that every person is inherently selfish, with their own viewpoint, motivations, and needs, which may not be anything like mine. I then try to step into their brain, see what they see, feel what they feel, understand what they need, and most importantly, discover their fears.
If I can figure out what someone is afraid of, then I know what will trigger defensiveness in them–and defensiveness is the great divider. So I then tailor my interaction–from body language to word choice to ideas presented–so that I am moving forward with my own needs and protecting my vulnerable spots in a way that doesn’t threaten them, and that also addresses their needs.
And as for figuring out what someone wants/needs/fears, I primarily use my intuition, but will sometimes ask directly (choosing my words, intonation, facial expression, etc. carefully) if I’m having trouble crawling into their brains on my own.
That’s how I do it, anyway. 🙂
August 6th, 2004 at 9:58 am
no need for apologies – all good.
on people – i find that the rule: Above All, Be Nice works well in most situations. it’s wide enough to incorporate all kindsa important stuff.
xoxoxoxox
(ps – i’m around tonight if ya wanna chat)
August 6th, 2004 at 9:58 am
no need for apologies – all good.
on people – i find that the rule: Above All, Be Nice works well in most situations. it’s wide enough to incorporate all kindsa important stuff.
xoxoxoxox
(ps – i’m around tonight if ya wanna chat)
August 6th, 2004 at 9:58 am
no need for apologies – all good.
on people – i find that the rule: Above All, Be Nice works well in most situations. it’s wide enough to incorporate all kindsa important stuff.
xoxoxoxox
(ps – i’m around tonight if ya wanna chat)
August 6th, 2004 at 9:58 am
no need for apologies – all good.
on people – i find that the rule: Above All, Be Nice works well in most situations. it’s wide enough to incorporate all kindsa important stuff.
xoxoxoxox
(ps – i’m around tonight if ya wanna chat)
August 6th, 2004 at 9:58 am
no need for apologies – all good.
on people – i find that the rule: Above All, Be Nice works well in most situations. it’s wide enough to incorporate all kindsa important stuff.
xoxoxoxox
(ps – i’m around tonight if ya wanna chat)
August 6th, 2004 at 9:19 am
Nothing to apologize for. Would rather know how you’re doing, you know. Because I give a damn about you.
August 6th, 2004 at 9:19 am
Nothing to apologize for. Would rather know how you’re doing, you know. Because I give a damn about you.
August 6th, 2004 at 9:19 am
Nothing to apologize for. Would rather know how you’re doing, you know. Because I give a damn about you.
August 6th, 2004 at 9:19 am
Nothing to apologize for. Would rather know how you’re doing, you know. Because I give a damn about you.
August 6th, 2004 at 9:19 am
Nothing to apologize for. Would rather know how you’re doing, you know. Because I give a damn about you.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:38 am
Dealing with people
Let them think they’re right
Flattery is your friend, but don’t overdo it (instead of “that’s a nice tie” which is obvious “that’s a good idea” works better.”)
Instead of telling them their wrong, suggest that they “improve their ideas”
But don’t back down. Buy your time.
Basically, when you’re dealing with people, especially when you’re trying to get them to change their view, you stroke their ego. In a non obvious way.
It’s really sort of hard to explain without an example >_<
**
As for the meltdown? You said exactly what was on my mind. Thanks.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:38 am
Dealing with people
Let them think they’re right
Flattery is your friend, but don’t overdo it (instead of “that’s a nice tie” which is obvious “that’s a good idea” works better.”)
Instead of telling them their wrong, suggest that they “improve their ideas”
But don’t back down. Buy your time.
Basically, when you’re dealing with people, especially when you’re trying to get them to change their view, you stroke their ego. In a non obvious way.
It’s really sort of hard to explain without an example >_<
**
As for the meltdown? You said exactly what was on my mind. Thanks.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:38 am
Dealing with people
Let them think they’re right
Flattery is your friend, but don’t overdo it (instead of “that’s a nice tie” which is obvious “that’s a good idea” works better.”)
Instead of telling them their wrong, suggest that they “improve their ideas”
But don’t back down. Buy your time.
Basically, when you’re dealing with people, especially when you’re trying to get them to change their view, you stroke their ego. In a non obvious way.
It’s really sort of hard to explain without an example >_<
**
As for the meltdown? You said exactly what was on my mind. Thanks.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:38 am
Dealing with people
Let them think they’re right
Flattery is your friend, but don’t overdo it (instead of “that’s a nice tie” which is obvious “that’s a good idea” works better.”)
Instead of telling them their wrong, suggest that they “improve their ideas”
But don’t back down. Buy your time.
Basically, when you’re dealing with people, especially when you’re trying to get them to change their view, you stroke their ego. In a non obvious way.
It’s really sort of hard to explain without an example >_<
**
As for the meltdown? You said exactly what was on my mind. Thanks.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:38 am
Dealing with people
Let them think they’re right
Flattery is your friend, but don’t overdo it (instead of “that’s a nice tie” which is obvious “that’s a good idea” works better.”)
Instead of telling them their wrong, suggest that they “improve their ideas”
But don’t back down. Buy your time.
Basically, when you’re dealing with people, especially when you’re trying to get them to change their view, you stroke their ego. In a non obvious way.
It’s really sort of hard to explain without an example >_<
**
As for the meltdown? You said exactly what was on my mind. Thanks.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:16 am
nothin’ to apologize for; when it’s gotta come out somewhere, sometime,
this is not a bad place for it.
—
I’m having lots of mixed emotions about my continued involvement in slam. Part of me thinks to my self, self let me be sure I’ve got this right: you’re gonna write new slam pieces, memorize ’em, get ’em sharp, qualify to go out for teams, make a team–when all that time and effort and money might have gone elsewhere–THEN deal with team drama, do rehearsals for group pieces, arrange time off from work (which is time that’s then not available for a family vacation or a romantic getaway), probably have to arrange some childcare, and then–most likely–get to perform one or two poems at the actual event. Is that about right, and if so, is it worth it?
And then part of myself answers: Well, maybe. It might still be worth it. Could be.
And this is slam’s greatest strength, the fact that, despite the obstacles and difficulties, a lot of people still find it worth it.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:16 am
nothin’ to apologize for; when it’s gotta come out somewhere, sometime,
this is not a bad place for it.
—
I’m having lots of mixed emotions about my continued involvement in slam. Part of me thinks to my self, self let me be sure I’ve got this right: you’re gonna write new slam pieces, memorize ’em, get ’em sharp, qualify to go out for teams, make a team–when all that time and effort and money might have gone elsewhere–THEN deal with team drama, do rehearsals for group pieces, arrange time off from work (which is time that’s then not available for a family vacation or a romantic getaway), probably have to arrange some childcare, and then–most likely–get to perform one or two poems at the actual event. Is that about right, and if so, is it worth it?
And then part of myself answers: Well, maybe. It might still be worth it. Could be.
And this is slam’s greatest strength, the fact that, despite the obstacles and difficulties, a lot of people still find it worth it.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:16 am
nothin’ to apologize for; when it’s gotta come out somewhere, sometime,
this is not a bad place for it.
—
I’m having lots of mixed emotions about my continued involvement in slam. Part of me thinks to my self, self let me be sure I’ve got this right: you’re gonna write new slam pieces, memorize ’em, get ’em sharp, qualify to go out for teams, make a team–when all that time and effort and money might have gone elsewhere–THEN deal with team drama, do rehearsals for group pieces, arrange time off from work (which is time that’s then not available for a family vacation or a romantic getaway), probably have to arrange some childcare, and then–most likely–get to perform one or two poems at the actual event. Is that about right, and if so, is it worth it?
And then part of myself answers: Well, maybe. It might still be worth it. Could be.
And this is slam’s greatest strength, the fact that, despite the obstacles and difficulties, a lot of people still find it worth it.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:16 am
nothin’ to apologize for; when it’s gotta come out somewhere, sometime,
this is not a bad place for it.
—
I’m having lots of mixed emotions about my continued involvement in slam. Part of me thinks to my self, self let me be sure I’ve got this right: you’re gonna write new slam pieces, memorize ’em, get ’em sharp, qualify to go out for teams, make a team–when all that time and effort and money might have gone elsewhere–THEN deal with team drama, do rehearsals for group pieces, arrange time off from work (which is time that’s then not available for a family vacation or a romantic getaway), probably have to arrange some childcare, and then–most likely–get to perform one or two poems at the actual event. Is that about right, and if so, is it worth it?
And then part of myself answers: Well, maybe. It might still be worth it. Could be.
And this is slam’s greatest strength, the fact that, despite the obstacles and difficulties, a lot of people still find it worth it.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:16 am
nothin’ to apologize for; when it’s gotta come out somewhere, sometime,
this is not a bad place for it.
—
I’m having lots of mixed emotions about my continued involvement in slam. Part of me thinks to my self, self let me be sure I’ve got this right: you’re gonna write new slam pieces, memorize ’em, get ’em sharp, qualify to go out for teams, make a team–when all that time and effort and money might have gone elsewhere–THEN deal with team drama, do rehearsals for group pieces, arrange time off from work (which is time that’s then not available for a family vacation or a romantic getaway), probably have to arrange some childcare, and then–most likely–get to perform one or two poems at the actual event. Is that about right, and if so, is it worth it?
And then part of myself answers: Well, maybe. It might still be worth it. Could be.
And this is slam’s greatest strength, the fact that, despite the obstacles and difficulties, a lot of people still find it worth it.
August 6th, 2004 at 8:08 am
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
You too, huh?
August 6th, 2004 at 8:08 am
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
You too, huh?
August 6th, 2004 at 8:08 am
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
You too, huh?
August 6th, 2004 at 8:08 am
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
You too, huh?
August 6th, 2004 at 8:08 am
I recently seem to have forgotten everything I ever knew.
You too, huh?