I started this sometime ago and never completed it.
Consider this an exorcism.
WHAT SHE SAID
What she said
before she pushed me aside
was that she was, at last, happy.
While I was pleased to hear that – I am not a vindictive man —
I regret to say that I still found it easier to snarl about it than
to recover from learning that
it was nothing to her that I had been crazy for
half the time we’d been together. I can’t blame her.
Who really gets that the whole point of
the condition is that your resources are the last thing
you can call on when you need them because
they are over there behind a wall and you
can’t even see them,
let alone reach
them? After awhile,
you figure out that happy
is for others. You figure out that stable
is for someone else, and you learn that
the ones who are stable think this is simple to fix
and the ones who are happy suspect that it’s your fault you’re not.
We’re just different, after all. Just different.
We were different. I was sad, she was happy. I was still in love,
she thought she still loved me. I was doomed, she had
promise. I am going farther away than ever,
and she gets to stay behind.
Dark Matter 