I have a confession to make.

I have barely been following the election so far, beyond a vague and disorganized support (read, checkbook support and comments at lunch) for Kucinich.

I know this makes me a bad person. Or at least, a typical American.

It’s also so unlike me. I’m one of those guys who has a huge activist background, and involvement in electoral politics was always a piece of that.

Truth is, I haven’t been able to focus for longer than half an hour on anything in so many months, I feel like I’m completely out of the loop.

This is disturbing to me. It reminds me of the combination of circumstances that made me drop out of my Amnesty International work years ago, when I couldn’t do much more than focus on my navel and my sorrow for more than a few minutes at a time.

My therapist, knowing this, has asked me if the general air of dread in the country has contributed to my depression; she even is pushing the idea that I’m undergoing some kind of delayed reaction to the stress I dealt with on 9/11 and in the weeks following, especially all those weeks of “travel education” (read: grief counseling/shouting matches) I ran for all the folks here at work who lost friends and colleagues. Sessions I wasn’t really qualified to run, but which I jumped in and did like a good soldier, because, you know, I’m like that.

I don’t know the answer. I do know that half serious job offer in Toronto is looking good.

At any rate, the new drugs do seem to be having some mild effect at the moment; I’m trusting that will pick up shortly, increase with the rising dosages, and my concentration levels will come back up to speed.

Then I might be able to partake in democracy and debate more readily.

Imagine that: political fervor renewed by prescription.

Don’t you wish it was that easy? I know I do.