Tag Archives: race

On Privilege (expanded version of old poem)

1. Definition

It’s an oil,
a white oil,
that gets on everything.

It clumps in dark corners
where it’s obvious
if you put a light on it,
but
spread it
and it becomes invisible,
almost intangible
until you try to grip something.

If you’re born coated with it
you forget it’s there.
The ones who came before you
and know the stuff
teach you how
to work with it, how to make it your friend,
how to make it stick where you want it to stick.
You won’t even remember it’s there
once you get the knack.

It’s no wonder
that you’re insulted when people
calls you “slick”

as they try
to make you see how
it shines so evenly on your skin
while on their own
it’s just a mess of smears and blotches.

No wonder that when you try to touch
those exposed patches,
it comes between you. 


2. The Clean Up

The wells that pump it
are deep.  Pulling up the pipes
is not like pulling teeth:
it’s more like pulling roots.
Long roots. Nearly infinite roots.
Roots that cross the lawns; pull them,
and the lawns come up with them. Roots
that have spread under the roads; pull them
and the roads crack and split above them.

They’re always leaking.
The oil is everywhere, it seems, and people
can’t see it sticking to them.  Scoffers abound
even as they slip and fall on it.

You can’t see it
on yourself either, and it’s so scary to think
of where it has come from.  The depth
of those reservoirs is like unto
the Hell you’ve heard so much about:
there is fire, there is ice, there is
the Adversary who rules it
and oh, he says he loves you, his slick
bastard.  How could you hurt him so
by rejecting his slippery gifts?

He’s not going to be happy,

and neither are you
as you scrub and scrape and
scrub and scrape and are scrubbed
and are scraped.

You will bleed.  There will be
scabs and scars.

3. Aftermath, in brief

I wish I could tell you
anyone really knows what a dry world
will be like,

but at least
we’ll be able to touch and not slide apart,
so we can hold on to each other as we are learning.

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The Tree

Division returns
us to ourselves.

One cannot praise
oppression, but it
at least makes us
take a stand and say
“this is who we are
and as we are this
let us celebrate and mourn
what we alone understand:

that there is a tree
in a cleft
in stone
in a desert
and while the tree
would have been stronger
had it sprouted
elsewhere with more soil
and water, it still
stands and everyone
wants to touch the tree.”

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Fear Of A Brown Planet

Noah invited no insect pests onto the ark, but they came anyway;
flies and roaches, gnats and ants, covering every square cubit
in a seething, confident carpet of stubborn, resilient brown.

The buffalo, once endangered, now have grown so numerous in spots
that they are leaving Yosemite to roam their old prairies, leading to calls
to thin them out by gunning down some of that mass of stubborn, resilient brown.

In the Gulf of Mexico, frightened men drop chemicals and lower booms
against the torrent pouring from the depths, a torrent they once sought to own.
Everything is futile.  They stare in despair at the mass of stubborn, resilient brown.

In Phoenix, water pours from sprinklers into the dry soil
and now the desert is held at bay by lawns of green and golf courses;
but let the effort lapse just a bit and soon will come the stubborn, resilient brown.

South of the city, along a border that men have made, soldiers stand
in camouflage and stare south into that shimmering oven, guarding against
the surging numbers moving north — the always present, stubborn, resilient brown.

People here sit and wait in houses of white and gray for their dread to subside.
They do not dare to say what seems obvious — that what they are most afraid of
is that their pastel world is changing back to a stubborn, resilient brown.

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Regarding White Privilege

1.
Walk out your front door
and into the street.
Look up and there it is:
your sun, won
on the last hand last night; the jerk
told you it would be yours in the morning
as soon as he could get to the bank
and the safety deposit box;
now he’s gone and there it is
hanging over you, out of reach.

At least you know it’s yours
even though it’s beyond command;
you can always trust the word
of a fellow gambler, after all.

2.
This sun of yours
crosses over myth
as you watch.
Do you own the myth as well?

3.
A street’s only as good
as its sidewalks:
having a pair of solid paths to parallel the main line
is crucial.  Places
to walk safely, more slowly
than the primary traffic.
A curb against which
to butt tires,
or crush jaws.

4.
Take your rabid imagination
to the street, stare
at your possession
and decide to own everything
it illuminates as well…

5.
In fact, this sun
belongs to no one,
lights everyone’s road,
warms every face.

Your deed to it has only the weight
of a shared perception
that it’s a valid deed.

The paper burns when the rays pinpoint upon it.

6.
Night follows day.

You made no bet
regarding the moon.

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A Brief Comment On Race Relations

My cat don’t know
who his daddy is —
probably a dead cat by now.

He’s getting old.
Sleeps a lot, but always did.
Likes fish.  Likes my blanket.
Purrs, and sits in the window
(where he usually falls asleep,
surprise, surprise.)

He knows who his mother is.
I do too.  Took her in pregnant
and kept the both of them.
She’s a long hair tortie,
he’s a patchwork shorthair
in grey and white.  She’s tiny,
he’s…not.

Doesn’t seem to care
about heritage.  Mom’s
a mutt with fur between her toes,
he’s not.  Must have got that
(or not got it)
from his dad. 

He’s a cat, just that:
sleepy, furry, old, and fat.

Never showed him, never tried
to get a ribbon, don’t know
who his daddy is. Mom’s a mutt,
never tried to prove she was
Siamese or Russian, didn’t care.

A cat’s a cat to another cat,
figure I should feel the same.
I let him be. He lets me be.
Furry bastard fat mutt lump
with a big purr and a bigger butt
he likes to have scratched —

works for me. 

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The Promoter Looks Back

Shaved for battle,
they used to say,
those bullet boys
with the rippling ink
and the no-quarter eyes.

Where are they now? 
I used to see them at all the shows.

All we wanted was hardcore and metal.
We knew the attendant politics would follow
but we thought we could steer the noise to safety.
We hired a bike gang
to keep the kids safe
from their warfare
and it mostly worked.

One night I ended up
rescuing a scrawny little racist
from the bikers
and drove him home to Clinton
where he and his brothers in arms
rented a farm.

On the way he told me
how it had started in Miami
where he was beaten daily
by Cuban kids
until he found the Hammerskins
and their cradle of white.

I told him I was of mixed race.
And I asked him how he felt about me.

He paused a long time and said,

“I still think it’s wrong.”
And then,
“I know that’s bad, but…yeah.”

Shaved for battle he was,
and his head shone in the moonlight
as he walked from the car to the driveway.

I did not wait to see if he waved,
throwing gravel as I spun out of the driveway
into the quiet road.

And I never saw him at the shows,
ever again.

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Total Recall

Reposted from a few years ago, by request.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOTAL RECALL

1. (in an office at work)

“they hate white guys like us.”

“i’m not white.”

“what do you mean?”

“my father’s Mescalero.”

“oh, that doesn’t count.”

2. (in a bar)

“you’re a conquered people
and you’re just going to have
to get used to that.”

3. (at my nonni’s house)

“your father steals from me
every time he’s in my house.”

“no, he didn’t, nonni.”

“he does. he stole a knife. he stole money.
i no understand why
your mother want to be
with those Indian peoples.
it’s good you look like her father.”

4. (my father’s way of saying how bad pain was)

“i’ve got a headache
that would kill a white man.”

5. (at school)

“your dad brought two colored kids
home for the weekend to stay over?”
“yes.”
“did they smell funny? do Indians
get along with them? i didn’t know that.”

6. (at the office)

“oh, i love Indians! Indians
are so beautiful — i love their feathers
and the way they dance. do you dance?
do you have feathers?”

7. (at school)

“hey brown, how come your sister
looks like a chink
and you look like a wop?”

8. (driving with my dad)

“i’m never gonna marry
a white girl.”

“son, your mother’s white.
it doesn’t matter sometimes.
marry who you love.”

9. (outside a club)

“don’t you really hate seeing these kids
running around with mohawks
when they’re not even Indian?”

10. (in a coffee shop)

“take your glasses off.
oh, yeah, i can see it now.”

11. (at work)

“now that your hair is long,
i can really see it.”

12. (too many times to choose)

“now that i know, of course,
it’s obvious.”

13. (at school)

“i’m really surprised
that you have to shave.
does your father have to shave?”

14. (during a performance review)

“aren’t you a little old
for this? i mean, aren’t you supposed
to have gotten over this, had a vision quest
or something when you were young?”

15. (too many times, too many bars)

“should you be drinking this much,
i mean, you know, fire water and all that?”

16. (at work)

“when your mother makes lasagna,
does she use buffalo in the sauce?”

17. (third week, introduction to anthropology, freshman year)

“so, you’re Italian and you’re Indian?
god, you must have a temper.”

18. (junior year, private school)

“jesus, put away the knife! what are you — crazy?
it’s just a word.  I mean, you are a half-breed,right?
that’s what you are, right?
i’m sorry, jesus, i’m sorry, i didn’t know,
how’m i supposed to know that?
you’re fucking crazy!”

19. (being interviewed for someone’s grad thesis on people who grew up in interracial households)

“so, how do you describe yourself?”

‘i don’t, i guess. not really. not anymore.
i guess ‘poet’ works as well as anything.”

“which side do you get that from?”

20. (first time in Italy)

“my mom’s family’s from around naples.”
“but this isn’t Napoli. why you come here?”
“because i’ve always wanted to see Venice.”
“you should see Napoli. you should see.”
“next time, maybe.”
“yes, next time. something there for you, maybe.
maybe home.”
“yes, maybe.”

21. ( first time on the rez)

“i’m looking for records, anything.
my father was born here, was sent to a residential school
and joined the army after,
he lost touch with every one, never came back.”

“there are no records, though. everything was lost in a fire back in ’67. i’m sorry. you’ll have to do some work to prove it, if you’re interested in being enrolled –”

“no, that’s not it. i just wanted —
something.
anything.”

“well…welcome home?”

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Fade

It’s past time
for the fade
to begin:

watch us
pretending the lines are stark
and obvious still, that answers
and decisions are clear
and unambiguous.  We can’t
live as we have, we can’t even be
as simple as we’d like to claim:
black, white, left, right,
right, wrong…simple boxes
that won’t hold our outcroppings
and amorphous truths.

Truth is they never did well
by us, forced us to compress
and cut and try to stuff ourselves
into plain cubes,
but we did what we could
and denied our ornery natures
so we could fit;
now that the boxes themselves
are shown to be fragile and breakable
we’re at a loss to explain
ourselves.

If there are no
boxes that fit us, how will we
get along in such a demanding world?

The answer is that we will fade,
let our deceitful edges
disappear into the general,
let ourselves get lost in the Big
and accept that unique
and easily definable shape is a myth
made for containment.

But we’re not ready
just yet, and we’ll remain solid
and square looking for our square holes
while everything around us gets rounder
and larger and nothing stays in one place
for long.

We long for days
that never existed
except by agreement,
and now that the agreement’s broken,
we have to learn to fade,
become obvious ghosts
who will not refuse
to acknowledge the freedom
of the death of category,
even as we deny
the new joy available to us:

the tingle of pleasure
as we pass
through all those walls…

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Bear

See that house
with the long driveway
two doors down?
They’ve got something like
a bear
in there.

His captors, about whom
we know little, seem
not to listen to him
and want to keep him hidden.
I’ve never seen him myself,
but it’s obvious that he’s there:
you can hear
the bear soliloquy
at all hours, a Hamlet
bear mourning and raging
at his current impotence,
demanding answers
from his parentage
regarding his current state.

One of these days
that beast is going to get out
and come looking for
vengeance on everyone
who knew about him
and kept quiet.  All these quiet homes
are going to be destroyed,
I’ve got money on it
and I’ll tell you: we’ll almost
deserve it.  Almost
because who were we
to question what was being done
in the name of our security
and safety?  It would have stirred
too much if we’d challenged
the rationale for keeping such a force
so trapped and caged.

Besides,
the property values would have gone down.
Who’d want to live in a place
where such angry and deprived souls
could run free and claim what’s theirs,
even if that’s
all they want?
If they could have been that way
from the start, maybe I’d feel different,
but now it almost seems
too late for that.  Best, I guess,
to stay armed and just
listen to them, alert
for the sound
of escape.

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UFOs

Many have said they’ve seen
a delta shaped object
lined with lights
over their suburban heads

I think
it was
a grand and terrible ghost
embodied as the Mississippi Delta
come to haunt them

Witch pyres as steady as planets
rimmed the shores
and the unknown flowed down from within

They say

“I don’t know what it was”

They lie
to themselves

for deep within they know that neither the future
nor the extraterrestrial world
brought these triangles of dread
to the space above their heads

Instead
memories
of dead history
forgotten languages
rapes and suppression
negation and killing

came back to remind everyone
that all the slaving
and pillage
of many generations
do not simply disappear

but rise into the common ether
and hover
most often unseen
but always there

legacies
in the night

making selected random
viewers
think of genocide
and send their children inside
to hide
while they shiver in the air
outside their handsome
stolen homes
and living standards
wondering at the beings
who have stolen their surety

a true reparation
for history’s extravagant misuse
of darker beings:

the replication
of fear in the bellies
of those who have not paid it
enough heed

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Limbo

if limbo exists,
you’ll be required to register
as biracial before entry.
everyone will be indistinct,
and camps outside the borders
will crowd the fences, coaxing you
to choose one or the other, threatening you
if you dare to seem unsure of your label,
refusing to accept your protestations
that you’re neither, that you’re both,
that you’re something else entirely.

but under a cool tree in the dead center of limbo
a sage sits singing of the genius of fresh invention. 

he rises cross legged
still seated
into the air and says

there’s no reason to choose a road.
this is a destination of its own.

the ones outside the fence try to drown him out.
you have to crowd close to hear him.

when you look at the ground,

you’re astonished to see six inches
between your soles and the earth.

why, then,
are you so careful when you step?

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On Your Skin, It Shines


— for Henry Louis Gates and James Crowley

It’s an oil,
a white oil,
that gets on everything.
It clumps in dark corners
where if you put a light on it
it’s obvious
but
spread it around enough
and it becomes invisible,
almost intangible
until you try to grip something.

If you’re born coated with it
you forget it’s there.
They — the ones who came before
and know the stuff —
teach you how
to work it, how to make it your friend,
how to hold things.
You don’t even remember it’s there
once you get the knack. 

It’s no wonder
that you’re insulted when someone
calls you “slick” as they try to seize you
and make you see how on your skin,
it shines so evenly and on theirs,
it’s a pattern of smears and blotches.
No wonder that when you try to touch
those exposed patches,
it comes between you. 

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