Tag Archives: love

Wordplay

Originally posted 3/1/2010.

You create a new word
right after dinner
and send it out to play.

It begins with a “C” and starts out strong
but soon trips over its own round foot
and falls down the stairs. . 

You bend to pick it up
and cradle it to your bosom,
rocking it while it weeps.

You change it into something
that begins with “E.”
And at once it’s all better.

Isn’t this fun? Creating new words
that mean nothing, do nothing
until you give them voice?

You can’t even pronounce these things.
Still, they’re alive because you breathed them.

It’s a nice power to have.

You can do this as well, you know,
with those you claim to love —
say their names as if you were in charge,

re-spell everything that has hurt them,
change the names themselves
if they carry too much weight.


If the only safety you can offer
is to give them new names

in a language you don’t know 

you learn that tongue as fast as you can,
practicing the words
when no one can hear you,

because love
is language 
invented
and held in secret


until you know
with whom
you are meant to speak.


Caveat

Originally posted on 8/8/2013.

If I thought you truly loved people 
for the complex, contradictory,
dense ghosts they are

and not as symbolic husks,
bullets in your slide deck
of what’s wrong with the world, then

I could love you,
my activist, my firebrand; I could love you
if you could allow all of me in.


In Which He Defends His Family From Insult

Son, don’t even try
to clown here — not when
your wife’s made
of cuckoo feathers
and talks in porcupine quills,
not when you’ve got
those two poison-dart kids
with grouch bag eyes that match
their limb-licking attitudes — 
son,
you carry your relations,
and I will carry mine.

At least when I am with my lover
and I lower my mouth onto hers,
I know I won’t come up
choking on the taste
of anyone else.  Can you
say the same?   This bar’s mad full
of lips whose flavor
you might recognize
if you did a little research,
but I digress —

stop clowning, son;

you’re under the big top now
and not even close
to being top banana.

 


A Tortoise Heart

Your heart
is always racing.
It must be trying to win.

What piece of you
will have to lose
to make that happen?

I wish I had
a handy anecdote
to validate your choice for you,

but I can’t help it:
I think you’re wrong.
I think it’s OK to lose a little,

now and then, and 
you ought not to let your heart
race so often.

Winning isn’t all it’s
alleged to be by winners.
Losers can’t see the downside.

There’s been a hell of a lot
of hype in winning’s favor,
but consider how often some hearts

harden upon winning
all their races.  Better, I think,
for the heart to relax and accept

what comes.  Accept
loss and win equally.  Strive less.
And above all, stop

falling into so much love.
Stop your heart from speeding up
so much that it is always either

breaking or just broken
or just returning from a long
convalescence.  Let it heal

and stop, at least for a while.
There will be plenty of time
for a tortoise heart to win.  That’s

something we’ve forgotten,
that not everything needs
to be accomplished overnight.

 


Face On Repeat

I have one of those faces
that is stuck on repeat —
goatee, jowls, stubble, longish
wild grey and white hair.

Millions of people look like me, enough
that I’m a stereotype of crazy —
artist, counterfeiter, etc.

I’m not exctly dark skinned but
I’m not pale enough for some
to not take me for a suspect ethnicity
when my repeater face
shows up.  It’s kind of
a hard face to carry.

So, you know,

the fact that someone
loves this face
is hard, sometimes,
to believe,

although when she does
it breaks open
the smile usually hidden
in my facial hair
and when that happens,

I guess I look at last
like myself.


Ain’t It Though?

Look, here is
a human heart.
A fist-sized ball of thick meat
on stunted but strong legs,
trying to look sharp as it runs.

Larger and weaker than this
is its dimly connected brain.
Somewhere in the wet noose
of its thinking, 
buried in its ropes and curls,
is the map the heart was meant to follow

but it’s inaccurate,
or so the brain fears
without knowing for sure.

In spite of that
this heart often outruns its brain,
gets to destinations early if untidily.
Perhaps, in fact,
it wins because it is lost.
Does any heart run 
so fast or strong
when it knows
where it is supposed
to be going?

It’s off again now
after a lovely something, or at least
in a direction
that will make it pump hard enough
to shake the brain like pudding
or Jello, but the map never
comes loose or breaks free.

Blind little
stubborn heart,
jealous careful brain
tagging behind —

gee, the word
we use to describe this
sure is grand.

 


Momentary Confusion

You turned toward me,
looking as though
a stairway was about to fall
from beneath you
and you knew
and could do 
nothing.

The stairway
fell from beneath me.

My next to last thought
was of my vanity:  how could I
have mistaken
what you were thinking? 

My last thought:
the pearl lustre of your eyes
so large as you looked at me… 

 


How To Hang On

When I close my eyes
I see the world break apart.  See

a close up of an egg or something
breathing, pulsing rather.

On the exhale, pulsing out. Pieces
push out, a mosaic deconstructing.

On the inhale the whole draws back into itself.
And I become almost whole: I know the fractures exist now.  

When later my daughter says:  
Daddy, how do you believe in science

and God at once when you know
about the breaks?  I can say hush, honey.

The how is the science, the urge and the reason
it happens is the buried name of God being spoken.

I built a little graveyard for the coyotes
who come here.  When I find a dead one

I bury it in the little graveyard
and I close my eyes and pretty soon

I get it back to normal.  I get it back to being alive,
or at least it stops pulsing when I close my eyes.

I don’t think science stops the pulsing, honey,
just as I don’t think faith makes it pulse in the first place. 

You don’t stop using one because the other came along.
You think of your daughter, and so you cover all the bases. 


You’re Artsy Because

You’re always imbuing
everyday stuff
with meaning,
like that strawberry shaped bruise
on your forearm
you got God knows where;
you keep calling it
a sign.

You’re artsy because
you want to commemorate
the oddest holidays:
Festival Of Dolls, National
Eat A Licorice Gun Day,
International Toilet Paper Tube Week.
You want to wear their banners
instead of your coat
in a blizzard. 

You’re artsy because
you actually think my world view
can be improved
and you keep trying to improve it
by being utterly yourself.  Whoever
heard of such a thing? 
Everyone knows
we’re better off
being more like
other people,
right?

You’re artsy
because if it’s nothing else, it’s art,
and I don’t know
what else to call
the improbable twist that is you.
I’m saying that’s you
being artsy,
creative, inspired,
though none of those words
means a damn thing close to the truth
of how electric the air is close to your skin,
how luminous surfaces become near you,
how the seeds of new things
are everywhere you step,
how much a lover of art
you make me.

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If There Is Love

If there is love
that will hold up,
it will carry a brown candle
and smell of sandalwood.

It will reach up to the top shelf
when asked and pull down
an old, soft-worn blanket
to cover up against November.

If there is love
it will not be blind, but in fact
will have uncommon night vision,
will be able to see through and around.

It will not flinch from weeping
at the horrid sight of failure
real or imagined.  It will seek
gold in ruined streams.

If there is love
it will have rough hands
when grip is needed, soft hands
when it is time to let go.

If there is love
it will be small, will find shelter
in a pocket and will travel unbidden
to wherever the journey goes.

It will have a face.  It will
have no need of a name
and will not come when called,
will appear before it’s called.

Love, supple crutch; it will not
do the expected when it is needed.
It will bend as you bend.  It will stiffen
as you stiffen.  It will not hold you up

but it will fall with you, rise
when you choose.  If there is love
you will know it is there
only if you do not feel the most lonely

when you are most alone.

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Still Face

She has a still face
under her more expressive mask,
and she says that it is
the truest one.

I love the active play
of her bones under the taut blush,
but will accept that it’s not the truth
if she says it is not.

What of your soft rocking,
gentle piston pulse,
I ask —

and she says that in truth
it is an iron engine
forever breaking stone
and what I hear and adore
is only its distant rumor.

Do I know nothing of you,
then, I ask?  And she says
that is so. But
she loves me for re-imagining
her. 

I reach out
at once upon hearing that,
wishing to seize hold
and take a measure.
I come up with only this poem
for my effort.  Her true face
and roaring heart
hang back but are clear
behind it, and I begin to miss
what I once believed in so strongly
that I could have lived happily
without ever writing of it again.

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Speak Of These Things

Suckle
is one of those words
that sits well on the tongue
as it is spoken, sounds
as it means, a bit of hard,
a lot of soft.

Kiss

reminds you
of itself as well
with its breath caught
and its air slipping away
at the end.

Touch

includes both a tapping
behind the teeth and
an interruption upon completion.

Love

is deep, has throat hum
and stung, buzzing lips.

All you need do to understand
how they all work together
is listen when they happen,
and then follow their instructions.

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Ash

ash
now

smoldered
for hours
without losing shape

much as a good cigar maintains
its barrel while on fire

then her one breath
drawn through
and what looked solid

fell

became a gray cloud

became soft earth
white feathers dissolute
on glass

waiting now
for wind or breeze
or another breath

will fly

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Heartbreak Moon

Gold and then silver —
this lake under first the sun
and then the moon.

If you had been there,
if you had seen
that alchemy of light,

you would have wept
for the passing of the day
and then the coming of night.

We are so different!
I have tossed my gold
into the dark waters

while you’ve held onto yours —
and while I am the moon’s servant,
I won’t shed my silver tears

for her, or for you.
I am unadorned —
no jewels for me

as this alchemy dresses me
in precious shine.
Keep your day and your gold.

I have all I need —
naked under my moon
and stars.

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After A Dancing

About an hour ago to them
a dancing appeared.
It spunked and spun
and then flung, whirred
a top, laid stone stomp,
rippled it humming a full stop.

Then, a reverse hurdle —
both fell down.  Slumped
pile of seem, slipped
a noose of silent, some breathing,
a tad of stir.

It was the beam of
what’s after.  Binge
hearty, the long bodies
wrung out and still.
Dilated eye, ruddy
arm and flow underneath.
They were enough for
the night, and were done.

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