Category Archives: prose poems

La Cosa Nostra

Death to that thing! Life to our thing! 
We’re the Mafia for our causes.
We like to keep it in the family
and don’t mind a little blood.

We don’t like to talk much.
Someone’s always listening. 
Or maybe they aren’t but it’s best
to be safe.  They might be.

We claim legitimacy.
We have cover stories,
fronts, deniability — but still,
Death to their things, Life to ours!

We are the worst sort of people
except for all the others.
They say it too, we know,
but they’re wrong to say it.

Death, death, death!  Love
the sound of it — how soft
it ends.  It’s like saying life, life, life —
it’s exactly like it.  Can’t have them separated

by much.  One means the other,
at least in our thing, and death
to the things not ours, life
to ours! This is how
we got here, saying that, being that —

bones in the dirt, blood on the sand,
eyes leaking or picked by the crows —
death is that thing that is also life,
death to their things is life to ours.

So call it brightly family, call it strong.
Call for some to die that others may live
as sensationally well as they possibly can —
death to some things, life to the other ones,

that’s our thing.  It’s everyone’s thing.
We live making the others die for their things
so that ours may live, yes, the ultimate yes
made stronger by the ulitmate no.

 


Two Crazy Kids, An Old Man, And A Host Of Lizards

1.
The Old Man, as we called him because of our lack of imagination, was usually seen smoking a fat tube the same color and size as the ubiquitous local lizards.  We assumed these were cigars, mostly because it seemed unlikely that he possessed the requisite igniter to get a lizard to burn.

2.
We were there because of our lack of imagination.  Our art was escape, not arrival.  We had been on the run so long, place names seemed superfluous. 

3.
The relationship between us, if you can call it that, was superfluous. On the rare occasions we fell into sex in those days, it was usually due to losing our balance versus our having been open to abandon.

4.
As the days wore on, we surrendered to a lack of definition; lost entire weeks in the calendar grid; began to refer to the Old Man as the Lizard Smoker, having forgotten our earlier decision that this could simply not be so.

5.
He taught us that the trick to smoking a lizard is to put the tail end in your mouth and use the dry skin around the eyes as tinder.  Once you’d learned the trick, they were remarkably easy to light. The hardest part was learning to coordinate the biting of the tail end to create a vent for the draw; it had to be timed perfectly with the ignition of the blowtorch, and that first drag was a doozy — all the gut and blood bubbling inside made for a strange if not entirely unpleasant taste, not unlike that recalled from the factory air of our youth, with a trace of bewilderment in the aftertaste.

6.
That were were torturing animals never occurred to us.  We’d been tortured animals ourselves, after all, and casual death seemed natural.  Organic.  Accustomed, in some ways; I’ve already testified to our lack of imagination, after all.

7.
Weeks turned into days.  Instead of marking the passage of time (however poorly we’d done at it) we simply rose, lit up, and passed the day in the company of the Old Man listening to odd stories of bureaucracy and petty intrigues, then fell into bed at dusk to await the next sunrise, the next smoke.  That there were names for the days seemed superfluous.

8.
We awoke one morning to the Old Man’s death rattle.  That one of us might have killed him did not occur to us until we saw the blood, the knife, his blowtorch bubbled skin.  We thought at first it might have been the lizards, but there were none to be found anywhere in the village.

9.
The local constabulary arrested us, charged us with various types of extinction.  There was no trial, and we were incarcerated in the flimsy local jail to await transport to the regional prison to serve life sentences.  Fortunately, the bribes required to get us out of town were small enough for our meager savings.

10.
On the road back to our long-abandoned homes, we realized how long it had been since we’d had to think of schedules, itineraries, names.  We had little imagination, but managed to concoct a story to explain our absence to our loved ones.

11.
We told them a story of exploration and suffering, of the smell of desperation and bewilderment, of the kindly Old Man who’d taken us in and showed us the way of the indigenous culture.  The story was bogus-sounding, but as we came from places where lack of imagination was endemic, it was accepted with little hesitation. At any rate, it was all but true, although we’d left out the lizards  and the mystery of the Old Man’s murder in consideration of the delicate sensibilities of our simple homefolk.

12.
Sitting on a hill outside of town, staring into the curls of autumn smoke above the plain chimneys.  We made love again as we once had, stable and grounded.  This was a temperate climate, after all; no lizard temptations here, and we knew the names of all the old men and women there below us.  It was almost good.

13.
The next day, we left for Los Angeles; bought blowtorches before we left, betting on the possibility of lizards.  The memory of the taste and the bubbling of the blood and fragile skin was so strong…maybe there was a movie to be made of all this.  Something to fire the imagination.  Something not to be seen as superfluous in scant years after it was made.  Something we’d be remembered for.

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Rules Of Thumb

We sit over the end of a comfortable dinner and discuss the state of all things.

A study has shown that exceptions to popular proverbs, laws of physics, rules of thumb, common knowledge, sensible notions, and given assumptions are becoming more and more the norm.  Geometry is shifting.  Angles, never before provably trisected, now regularly fall into neat triplet piles.  Shelter is losing its place in the hierarchy of needs.  Soon, it will be forgotten entirely. 

It appears to knowledgeable observers that knowledgeable observation is becoming a lost art, akin to alchemy and divination by gut of pigeon and pig. There are suspected reserves, not measurable, of container ships laden with butterflies who are waiting to change the world’s climate.  If there are ghosts, they wear visors and lean deep into ledgers with our very dimensionality at their calculating mercy.  Nymphs, fauns, and revenant Pan himself establish Websites and collect scores of followers, who fondle tokens of their avatars while staring at doorknobs, thinking of the potential for rattling entry in the dark.

My love, this world is slipping away into an immeasurable mystery.  Nothing we have known to be true is certain.   We should sleep with our eyes open now, scanning the dark for signals.  And then, when we think we have seen enough, it will be up to us how we choose to live.  What we choose to measure.  What we count on.  How we refine and define the terms.

So if a butterfly comes close, hold your breath.  If a god possesses you, count rapidly to one hundred seventeen.  If the door rattles in the night, we’ll cast a cold eye on it, pass through the walls, and escape, carrying nothing with us.  Not even the meaning of love, or of home.  We will come back for them later, or make new ones while holding up our thumbs to plead for rides to new places.

Our thumbs — once the measure of punishment, as the story goes — will become our transport. We will have to depend on each other to carry each other.

Eventually, we’ll forget the old origin of the term and say: a “rule of thumb” measures the distance you were carried before you decided you could live where and how you are living right now, and is only fixed until the next departure.

And then we’ll say: Love is the vector of human travel.  We’ll say: Home is the fare humans paid for the transport. 

And when we say human, what we will see is aluminum pie plates — when full, flaky and soft centered; when empty, easily flung into flight, shining as they fly.

We polish off the last of the dessert, and leave the clean up for tomorrow as we hurry off to bed.

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The Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra

A klezmer band purchases a sheepdog to act as band mascot, and changes the name of the band to the Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra.

In their hometown south of Detroit, the Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra plays weddings so often that the sound of a clarinet in the street would lead to proposals and engagements.

The Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra begin to travel widely and soon achieve a degree of acclaim.  Everywhere they go, they bring the sheepdog (known to the audiences only as The Sheepdog) with them.  He lies on stage during their sets, perking up for the dances, then dropping his sad head to the floor for the vocal lamentations and slow songs, peering out at the audience through his fringe of fur, looking right and left.

The Sheepdog is in private life named David. The band keep his real name to themselves, as they keep their own names private from the audiences they play for, using stage names — Aaron Out Front, Judith Judith, Ronaldo Star, Jonathan Regretful, Felix the Cat, and Sam The Fiddler.

Sam The Fiddler, in particular, loves The Sheepdog and is David’s closest companion in the band, walking him during breaks, petting him for long hours in the privacy of hotel room, brushing his thick coat until it shines before every gig.

I only have ever seen them play once, and am not a fanatic for klezmer music in general.  But at a wedding of close friends from college, The Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra played for hours, and I danced and wept as much as the families did for their offspring, and I have not forgotten.

Tonight on the radio, in the early dark of pre-dawn, I heard a recording of The Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra and thought of you again:

how your hair fell before your eyes so often,
I was always brushing it back to see them more clearly;

how I once danced and wept with you,
called both things a celebration of us;

how it seemed that a band was playing whenever we spoke or loved together,
the air itself blurred into song.

This is not to say that remembering you reminds me of a sheepdog, or of The Sheepdog Klezmer Orchestra, or of weddings or dancing  This is to say that when I think of joy and sadness mixed, and of the caring that demands the constant brushing of hair from soft eyes, of hours of travel and the rewards of keeping private what is most your own,

those moments have a soundtrack,
and you still sing to me on that soundtrack
like a clarinet, like Gershwin,
like klezmorim,
like some few weddings I have attended.

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Monkeys And Apes

1.
Apes are notorious gossips.  Monkeys, at least, will tell you off to your face.

2.
Many years ago, the apes of the East talked badly of the apes of the West, and vice versa.  Any time the subject of the other apes came up in either region, it was filled with suspicion and mythology, but in the vast middle of the continents, between the dissenting camps, the native apes who warred with them both just said, we don’t like any of you.  The monkeys thought this was hysterical.

3.
Monkeys and apes don’t get along.  Something about tails, the story goes…Gibbons sidestep the issue by having long arms.  They wave them like tails.  Some of the apes refuse to believe the gibbons are apes as a result.  So what, say the gibbons.  At least we aren’t baboons.

4.
It’s simple biology, say the apes.  Put a monkey in a room, the monkey will climb the walls, peel the paper off the walls.  That’s the beginning of literature, though, say the monkeys.  The apes sneer.  It’s just a mess, they say.

5.
Monkeys are cultured, dig boobies, drink milk by the gallon, watch Mel Gibson movies for tips on survival.  Apes prefer motorsports and bourbon, and the films of Ingmar Bergman, but only if they’re dubbed and not subtitled.

6.
A monkey sat on a couch and dreamed of airplane food.  An ape woke him up. I’m hungry, he said.  Cook me something.  Fuck you, said the monkey, piss off.  Do I look like a flight attendant?  I’m just a damn monkey, and I’m hungry myself.  But you don’t hear me asking you to cook for me.

7.
Apes and monkeys alike think humans ought to give up the evolution thing and get over it.  We’re insulted at the insinuation that we’re cousins, they say.  There’s no way we could be all related.  Except for the damn gibbons, maybe.

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