Clumsy

Something there is in here
that doesn’t want me
to get rhythm right
with a guitar or my feet
or my chest
Thumping back
out of time
Skipping a beat for a clumsy moment

I put my head down
Stop speaking for a moment
I don’t play or dance
for a moment
and for that moment I am
suspended above this mess
called by whatever name it fits
over my shoulders

I put my head down and would cry
if I had a chance
but I don’t have that moment
Cannot concede any breath to it
Instead I pick up a guitar
stretch my cramping hand
tap unsteady with my wounded feet
and let my heart do what it does

for a moment or longer
No one can stop me
no matter how sad or shattered
I become in its aftermath
No matter how bad I sound
for one moment I am suspended
in thrall to my music and tears
my clumsy feet and then even more tears

“““““““““““““““
onward,
T