Up Early Before First Light

for breakfast I ate
two pieces of toast
with butter and
two cups of coffee and
it was good

mid-morning I ate
two more slices of toast
with chunky peanut butter
and raspberry jam and another
cup of coffee and
it was good

I ate no lunch, had
a low-calorie chocolate bar
mid-afternoon and then had
a few sliced baked potatoes
with garlic and butter
for dinner and
it was good
it is good

during meals I paid little mind to
white terrorists
outside on the street or
sneering faceless people
on the Web or
those who spit indifference
while driving through all of this
faux shambolic energy
pointed in its chaos
toward me

I am up again early today
and I may have toast again
with butter or
I may make an egg over easy or
I will have nothing at all but
it will be good
it will have to be

as a shadow passes
food freezes on my fork
breaks my teeth
it has to be
a shadow stops at my door
points a fat finger at me
laughs its own toothiness
it has to be
a shadow opens its mouth
wide wide wide
to swallow me still struggling
it has to be

I will struggle before going down

that is the way it was planned
by Another
who knew me well at heart
amid the breakfasts and suppers
the wounded brain
the aging bones and muscles
the failing spirit
it will speak to me and say

it will have to be good
it must be good
it shall be
good

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
onward,
T