Apology

I am sorry
I have been a miss
for you. I’m so
sorry.

I turn
and begin to turn
again and again. I’m
sorry, more sorry

than I have ever been.
The trees are bare, all
the flowers are gone too;
I’m so sorry for that.

The lawn that never existed
outside of our vision,
the river we can’t see from here —
ah, I’m so sorry for them

and the lack of attention
I’ve paid them. Same with
the birds, the wind, the rain
and the sun. I am sorry

there’s no recourse for them,
no penance I can do, no penalty
I could serve. I am sorry
for all of that —

forever and a day, forever
until the wounds come forth
on my skin, until the scars
begin to form and leave me

trapped within them, like
a cage. I apologize
formally now and at once
more intensely

than I have ever said a thing
before now — may the wind
take me, may the rain soak me
if I fail at this. Apologies

all around for this;
I am one with the rain
and sun on this — part of
the weather; part of fading away.

It is what it is, it is
ashes and dust
and broken blooms.
I am sorry and I go now

as do the rain, the snow,
the lost leaves of the willow,
rays of sunlight, the night
as it falls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
onward,
T