As I walked out on the streets of Laredo,

I realized I have never liked the place.
Oh, sure, I knew the song
and I sang it now and again,
took it out for a walk —

but not a far walk. Seemed like
the road went on forever,
the road lengthened,
went on before me
for miles till I reached
the dusty city; instead of choosing
a longer stop there
I sat down quickly,
took some water
from a bottle I carried, listened
to the song, listened to
wind scraping the dirt; worried
about loved ones. I closed
my stinging eyes. I shut down
and thought of her, and
the wind stung hard,
an angry bee, dancing
before its death on my skin…

“Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story…”

I shook myself awake found myself
going pale, almost ghost, almost
cloud. People walked through me;
I felt them walking, talking, thinking
of lovers and hatred and money
and junk, always junk; whatever I had owned
became junk. I stood up from the curb
and shook myself free. Whatever was mine
I did not want to tell the story of it;
I wanted to be silent
but my tears would not allow it;
preferred to be
all by myself, with all my own words…

“Get six jolly cowboys to carry my coffin…”

…and the words were red, always red.
Spoken like a burst, an explosion;
a red song beyond melody
and harmony. What else could I do
but speak and sing? I had not been in town
long enough to know anyone and
the street signs all led back the way I came.

Afterthought:
I really, really hate old Laredo. Hate
the long streets, the dust, the memory
of the song I learned in grade school.
I don’t like the new Laredo much, either;
it’s a big city now, full of dust and dirt
and people, always people in cars
shaking off the dust as they zip by, people
who hang their weary heads when someone
starts the song.
Still, there’s the last verse:

“Play the fife lowly and play the drum slowly…”
Play the dead march as they carry me along;
Let the clods rain down on me, I’m going to join them,
For I’m a young cowboy and I know I’ve done wrong.”

Close my eyes every time I hear it.
Imagine the rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~