Sad on behalf of that which is blue
and is not supposed to blue ever;
sad today for blue lips cooling, blue skin
under reddened eyes, weightless blue words
doing little to heal or correct a broken moment.

Angry on behalf of that which is red
which should only be red now and then; angry today
for blood on faces, blood rising in faces, faces soaked
from inside in blood until the dragon stain
of red carries through to words and breath itself.

Scared on behalf of that which is white,
even that which has become so under pain of death;
scared today of ghosts, surrenders, pale knights on pale horses — 
all the panoply of what terrifies; most of all, afraid
of white faces; it shouldn’t be so, but it is so.

what you love
you claim
what you despise
claims you
what you know
and remain indifferent to 
explains you
what you do not know
and others do
reframes you

thus I
learn like mad
have opinions
avoid hating many
and love few

all in an effort to 
surrender little
of myself

stories you tell
of what you see
become what people see
of you

stories you tell
of how you see what
you see become
your angle on what
you are

when pushed to speak
I over-explain
and therefore negate
how little I surrender
of myself so
I am learning
silence and
how to tolerate
the growing lack
of self-delusion
that naturally follows

people who are
indifferent to me
are killing me
by millimeters

I am learning
indifference to them
each lesson a bullet
fired in self-defense

this resultant loneliness
is an expression of
a kind of poverty
much like how after a war
a country
is often in ruins
its people walking dazed
by what was once familiar
having become indifferent
to its former self

they starve eventually
or leave