Resolve

Coronary, my constant friend,
stay over there — as much as I know
you’d like to give me 
what I’ve said for years
I most desired,
I need to do that for myself
in my own time.

Diabetes, new comrade,
stay at arm’s length — 
while you’ve been hiding for a while now,
only just introduced yourself,
I am determined
not to get to know you well
as you intend to rob me of
what I stubbornly prefer
to discard on my own.

And you, seesaw brain,
tipping point mood –as much as I 
have gained from our grappling,
I am weary of it and 
you need to back off.  What I’ve said
of you for years has turned out to be
too true — you’ll let me win a day or a week
in order to slam me for a month,
and I’ve lost all respect.
I’m nothing to be toyed with,
can crush myself better and more solidly
than you can.

Just you watch.  
I am the master of
my fate, the whatever of my whatever;
when I’m on, I’m on;
when I decide to be off,
I will be off
and there’s not an ill friend in the world
who can do better for me
than I can do for myself.