Monthly Archives: October 2013

Claiming The Crazy Dog

I was moving ahead swiftly, nearly skipping,
flying over everything, heard noise
from behind, turned.

Saw a leash caught on a thorn tree
and a white dog upon it thrashing,
howling, speckled with his own spit.

I recognized him.
This dog was mine,
was named for all the dark acts

that were done for me via privilege and in my name;
whether or not I did them myself,
I owned the hound and couldn’t ignore him.

I untangled the leash
and took it on though he bit me hard.
To this day as we walk

(I can neither run, skip, nor trot anymore)
he snaps at me and at all who pass, and never stops howling.
I strain to hold him back simply because I must.

There’s nothing heroic in it.
I own a crazy white dog
and his name is

“The Stubborn Adherence Of Hidden Favor
On The Path To Success.”
Like most show dogs’ names,

it’s too unwieldy for daily use.
I just call him Whitey
and keep one eye on him always.


Bullying

Parents lie awake
in late darkness
thinking of
the previous day,

afraid
for their children, afraid
of their children. 

The children
are all asleep.

Perhaps
they’re also all
lucid dreamers,
so in control
of their fantasies
that they may as well
be real.

If these children’s dreams
do become real?  Well,
if that happens…well,

if dawn is coming,
if dawn ever comes again,
if all are wrong and it comes again,

if after this night
something recognizable as dawn
can possibly still be coming,

no one in this town
is likely to recognize it.

Certainly,
no one
can feel it yet.


Sing And Dance

If I could still dance
I’d dance a pavanne to coax back
my recently lost cheer and gumption — 
I’m sure they’re still nearby,
just barely out of reach.

If I could sing as I once did
I’d holler a big band blues shout
five times the size of my latest defeat,
and I’d drown out the whimpering
I left in the dust around it.

I can’t dance or sing anymore; 
it’s a pity that every trick in my book
was dependent on those lost skills.  Living well,
they say, is fine revenge.  Trust me,
it’s not as good as actual revenge,

which is a harsh word 
for the moment I’m in
but it’s a harsh moment.  
I want a little revenge on age,
just to still its laughter.  Just to ease

the ache of the memory
of singing and dancing and abandon
and calling them both “the answer
to a bad week.”  I’m out of such answers now,
though I can still hum and tap my foot a little

and that may have to be enough now — 
the ability to follow along
when some are living well.
Alive, responding, remembering;
it will have to be triumph enough.


Edison, Tesla, Brown

Pray you never see me
coming toward you with my baggage
of wrong mistakes

not like Edison’s correct mistakes
that got him ever closer 
to the lightbulb

nor like Tesla’s right mistakes
that weren’t mistakes at all
but quashed revolutions

Like them I pulse with invention
Unlike them
I never patent anything

because I make the wrong mistakes
inasmuch as none are original enough
to sustain hope on the way to success

You will never read about me
in a book of genius
(except perhaps in a chapter

called “Cautionary Tales”)
You will never see me in a documentary
(perhaps instead a reality show

called “Really Missed
The Clue Boat Here”)
You will never see me

again 
unless I screw this up 
too


Why We Fight

A voice or animal spirit
or other being of great impatience
screams into my ear until I wake up,
demanding that my next words
must absolutely be
about how karmic debt
is always carried in blood.  

I attempt to resist. I say 
that I don’t believe that it is, that we can rise above
such impulsive belief.

The great impetuous force
screams again that my own belief
is subverted by fact, and how
is blood not an obvious river for inevitable war
when it carries so much iron?

I am not yet awake enough to argue
so I draw my knife.
How are we now, Great Force?

It screams that I am to address it
as Lord, that I am to listen
and obey, tht I am to await further instructions
as it wails around seeking 
a justly identified enemy past or present
to hate and damage up to and including death.

I want to ask if we are doomed, but it screams
that I need to be writing. Tales of atrocity, it screams. 
The enemy’s name will as always be added when it is known.


A recording for you…

I recorded a loose interpretation of my poem “Drunk Diner Breakfast Anthem” with guitar accompaniment as part of preparation for a recording session later this week…thought you might enjoy it.

Late Night Diner Breakfast Anthem


A Beautiful Saturday Night

Isn’t it a beautiful
Saturday night
in the city?

A punk fan
spits up on a classic rock fan
in front of a disco
as a car banging rap slips by
and a country fan turns up her nose
at the hard, hard house music
her date seems to prefer.
The jazz fan hurries past everyone
because no one likes a jazz fan
except for the reggae fans — they
love everyone, mostly.  Mostly —
except for that guy
with “Tosca” leaking
from his earbuds.  Meanwhile
on the corner two surprising kids
are committing a bluegrass murder,
hoping for spare change in the hat
and getting some
while there’s a hint of bhangra in the air
and a hint of merengue in the air
and a hint of calypso and soca and mento
and someone’s got a ska torch lit too;

isn’t it a beautiful Saturday night
in the clamoring city,
isn’t it making you wish
you could play everything
whenever you close your eyes?


Nationbuilding

1.
Soundtrack: surf music remixed by The Bomb Squad. 

A rope swing hangs from a fragile branch
over a quarry pool.

Two who from this angle
appear to be man and woman
or boy and girl
but could be otherwise
obviously feel safe enough
to be tearing now
at each other’s clothing
and falling together
to the patch of soft ground
at the base of the granite wall.

2.
Soundtrack: mbira, kora, pans, a dictionary being beaten.

When there were still laws,
when there were still boundaries,
when there were so many people elsewhere
who wanted to be here —

when this was an active quarry
they pulled the stones for the pedestal
of the Statue of Liberty
from that curve in the far wall —
there, to the left of the loving couple,
there, where the kids are jumping
from the top and somehow not dying.

See them huddled up there before they leap.
See them — yearning?  Not certain.
They might already be satisfied.

3.
Soundtrack: electric revolver, blue cement slammed by a hammer.

Under the thick black quarry water
are cars resting where they fell —
some holding, perhaps,
the bones of lost drivers.

Too far down to reach without gear:
we see them when we dive in,
just before our lungs blow up
and compel us to rise to safety.

Crimes in the cold cold pools!  We’re
shuddering with delight
at the proximity.

4.
Soundtrack: a clatter of unimportance, uneasily played on massed fiddles.

We’ve learned
that if you come to the quarry alone, silently,
it will swallow you.

We always approach in groups
making a lot of noise.  It soothes the ghosts,
if you want to call them ghosts.  

They move like ghosts
but might never
have been alive long enough
to be unquiet spirits.  

We’re unquiet spirits.
Maybe we are ghosts?

ah, who cares; the important thing
is not to be silent
and never be alone.

5.
Soundtrack: blues and police whistles.

Once they built a pedestal for a Great Lady
using stone from this old delinquent hole.
Can’t they do it again?  
Can’t we, if we skip
the brass band and the various evils?  Or
does quarrying a home like ours
require evil of us?

I see, suddenly, that the rope’s
got a body on it.
Something’s stirring
in the water and
I can’t hear music any more.


Drunk Diner Breakfast Anthem

Oh,
my country —
my late night
drunk diner breakfast
country

we sit down to it
knowing it is rich and
fatty and huge
but insisting upon it
and starving for it
knowing how bad it is for us
gobbling it anyway
knowing we will be sick
when we wake up
knowing it will kill us
one day


The Youth

Blessed be the youth
and fuck the youth
as they dismiss the past
and caress the old mistakes

Blessed be the youth
and fuck the youth
as they eat the best
and slip away to new feasts

Fuck the flat-footed youth
who will not flee though we scream run
Bless the fleet-footed youth
who flatten and hold on tight

Bless the youth
who manage some surprise
at every vintage act of oppression
gussied up as new

Fuck the youth
who turn away from intersections
with a headdress
and a stupid rap on their lips

I alternately bless and condemn youth
as I have alternately blessed and condemned those my age
Blessings for being human
Condemnation for imperfectly feeling humanity

We live in a time of great fuckery
and grand blessing
and cannot always tell the difference
or balance well between those poles

so fuck and bless the youth
for their maddening cavalier living
for their unwillingness to stop
for their inability to avoid our mistakes