I’m eating a bowl of good cereal
in the kitchen of a house with a model
of Stonehenge on the coffee table
in the living room.
In the back bedroom,
a tired but tender woman feeds a fawn
whose mother was killed by an 18-wheeler
this morning before dawn.
Outside and for miles around
the frozen ground assumes the role
of moat for this sanctuary. Inside,
the air feels old, and careful.
If any were to appear here now
from Stonehenge’s stock, I think
they would recognize this light
as something they’d once seen through the pillars.
Dark Matter 
January 17th, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Stonehenge is considerably older than Druids, but no matter. Light through the pillars is a beautiful image. It’s one of the cores of the Sefer Yetzirah, the Hebrew Tree of Life. The pillar of the right is black, and is the pillar of severity. The Pillar of Mercy is on the right, and it’s white. And the middle pillar is … the one who stands between the pillars, and steadies both pillars with his/her body fully balanced between them.
I really like the rhymes in this poem. Fawn and Dawn, cereal and table and model, around and ground. Welsh poetic forms have really odd slant rhymes sometimes in the middle of a line, and this feels a bit like a nod to that.
January 17th, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Druids are no longer in the poem — thanks; I think I was channeling a misremembered Spinal Tap lyric…As for the rest, I appreciate the commentary. Thank you.
January 17th, 2013 at 7:56 pm
I don’t know that I agree with your decision to take “Druids” out. There’s… I don’t know… a suggestion of lineage between stonehenge’s builders, and the druids, and the tired tender woman. Triads are another important feature of Celtic poetry — as are “complicated guests” like fawns and aging poets. 🙂
January 18th, 2013 at 12:20 am
Well…honestly, I looked at it and it bothered me. So…sorry. It’s gone.
January 18th, 2013 at 5:58 am
It IS your poem. And it’s lovely. But I’m glad to have read its earlier draft.
January 18th, 2013 at 6:01 am
Well, sure. But I actually like the rhythm of the new line better, and think the triad imagery is preserved as well.
I’ll find a home for that Druid somewhere.
January 18th, 2013 at 6:04 am
What is it that John Cage said in his rules? “Save everything… it may come in useful later?”
January 18th, 2013 at 6:14 am
Right. Firm believer in that. I’m keeping the Druids in my “later for you” box.