If Only

All the “if onlies”
some of us were taught 
to bend around

if only there is
no God
if only there is
no Heaven

if only there is
forgiveness for the Thomas Doubter Society Members

if only there is
a broad definition of “good”

if only there is
a Judgment Day that is not entirely impartial
if only there is
a balancing process

if only there is
a Jesus Intercessor
if only there is
a Holy Spirit Immunizer
if only there is
a sudden death escape clause

all the “if onlies”
we indulge
through our poor choices
and misjudgments
boil down to human
uncertainty as to the grounds
for the present moment
to be punishable or not 
later on

living on crossed fingers
and half remembered prayer

I stand 
with the pagans who say

do as thou wilt an it harm none

as I do not think 
any afterlife
we may have to face
will be modeled
on a courtroom
if only because
of all the evidence
that the universe
detests bureaucracy
and prefers 
elegant, simple
karma