Self-Actualization II

Not a rock
but mostly hard,
more an old candy that
seemed OK to try but
was at once spit for being
mostly nasty,
a little sweet still
yet obviously more sickening.

Not good for you, semblance
of a good thing, model of a 
desire, almost a worthy
undertaking? Ha. 

Big, old.
Gray, big.  
Old, stumbling loud.
Loud, stupid sometimes,
too smart often, but always loud
with smart or dumb.

Big, gray, old, 
loud, smart, dumb:

contradiction contradance contrail, 
chemtrail conspiracy denier. 
den father,
fast companion.  

String a bunch of words.  
Make a bunch of meaning:

look, what he is, is fraudulent.
What he is, is over.
He wants to leave
and is too cowardly.
He wants to change
and is too invested.

He wants his name
to conjure a different candy
and is too late.