1.
the gun
the picture of the gun
the movie of the gun
the theater of the gun
the toy gun
the gun as toy
the toying with the gun
the gun toying
the gun’s toy
the toy discarded
the toy weeping
the toy guarding and guarded
the toy erupting
the toy deceased

2.
hair along the arms rising tingling
who brushing who with air and scent
hides coming alive

this thing needs a name
so they call the new life love
love in the hair along the arms
love on their hides

but really
eventually 
same old
same old
same old
lives 

3.
that weed’s gonna kill ya

when it doesn’t — AH
what roads open

4.
God
or a sandwich
offered at the right moment
and 
BANG

zealot

5.
I had to do this, didn’t I?
 
 

Didi stutters.

I knew her
when she didn’t.

I know 
who made her stutter,
made her shy.
I know what he did.

I didn’t do
what I should have done
when I found out,

so I guess
I helped
to start her stuttering too.

I guess I wasn’t a man then,
or maybe I was.  

Maybe I 
still am not one, or maybe
I still am.  Maybe

“being a man”
means
brooding about 
being a man,

instead of just
being a man 
differently.

Don’t judge me
by Didi, stuttering
and shy — 
it’s hard to be a man.

That’s what i said, it’s hard
to be a man these days
when men are so not good at
being men —

I said it, yeah.
You heard me —

did I stutter?