After your fall,
you’re free to examine
the customs of slumming
in the name of a new life.
You’re free to move about
the dark places of the country,
the shady shelters, the half-secure
shared apartments, the dank
holes of forgotten neighborhoods.
Enjoy it and make a brag of it,
buddy; someone will agree with you
out of necessity and praise it as
a lifestyle choice, a simplification.
You’re free to self-medicate,
embalm yourself early, break open
the husks of imaginary taboos
in a world where everything’s permitted
and less is not more. Laugh and barf
on the corner, bucko; no one need hold
your hair when you’ve shaved your head
that shiny.
Maybe, though, you’re happy.
Maybe you’re glad things
aren’t better, more comfortable,
closer to what you once had —
but friend, you claim too much
for the way you live and too loudly
and for all the proclamations,
those keno slips in your pocket
flag a willingness to leave it behind.
Really, you’re free as this worm
in this puddle and as
pale. He’s wriggling
because that’s what worms
do. It’s what you’re
gonna do too. Snicker
and wriggle, pal; all yours
your low pride in low places,
even your wet pride of a pending
wet death in public, with not even
the utility of the fishhook
offered to you
to help you salvage a scrap.
Dark Matter 
December 19th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
“break open
the husks of imaginary taboos
in a world where everything’s permitted
and less is not more.”
This reminds me of how complicated it is to, on the one hand, acknowledge that maybe certain modes of life don’t suit you, and on the other hand, to seek out kinds of life that do work and are fulfilling. These lines seem to say, “Okay — a life without art, ideas, and personal exploration would make me miserable. Thus, I reject the possibility of living a particular type of suburban life. That doesn’t mean that I have to subject myself to random varieties of gratuitous deprivation and misery.” It seems to skirt the question of whether and how much suffering is necessary to live a bohemian and/or artistic life. Which choices are liberating, and which will only make life more infinitely more confusing? It brings the reader to formulate the question of what one must do in order to live a continuous, consistent life as much as possible.
December 20th, 2011 at 6:58 am
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and close reading, Beth. That question is pretty much what I was driving at. I’ve lived a pretty hardscrabble existence for the last few years, since I quit a comfortable and well-paid job in the corporate sector to start a consulting practice and devote more time to writing and music. (Timing has never been my strong suit.) Along the way, I’ve watched many friends deal with the same challenges involuntarily. It’s led me to question a lot of what I took to be “luxuries” and “necessities,” and what might instead be called “affectations.”
December 20th, 2011 at 8:51 am
Ah, so the apostrophe (“friend, you claim too much / For the way you live”) is you addressing yourself. I heard the scorn on the first read, but hadn’t thought that it might be leveled at the speaker, instead of at another person.
I am also reminded of how much sustained concentration, effort and commitment to a cause (or a passion) it would take for questions like this one to arise. Along the way there is, I’m sure, a lot of doubt and uncertainty and questioning .
December 20th, 2011 at 9:18 am
Pretty much. Most of my exhortation poems are self-accusatory to some extent, LOL. Comes with the territory — working alone all day from a home office, a lot of solo travel, etc.