The Lizard

The lizard of self-loathing
was not looking for food
or shelter.  He sought
something else: your sense
of purpose.

And oh, he was good at it  —
been stealing from you for years.

So, you’ve disguised yourself —
haircut; wardrobe; new glasses, contacts
even; lose some weight,
change your name, set goals, resolve
to be better.  

Next time he drags by your door,
he doesn’t even stop.  Long tail-trail
in the dust behind him
indicating where he’s been —
in your business all these years.

Resentment made you do the work,
dammit; now it’s time to do
the right stuff for the right reasons.
Let the lizard be —  
you don’t need to kill him.

He’s so well-fed and sturdy
you marvel at what he must
have found nourishing in what you
had discounted about yourself.

Time to take stock of that —
you look good, feel good,
see sharply, move quickly.
You’re a hell of a guy
but you’re full of questions:
could you have done this earlier,
could your life have been easier?

Stop with the regrets already — see how
he’s turned to look back, sensing
something on which to feed?

Instead,
call it a new day
and go back to your house.
You won’t have to see him again
if you don’t want to.