S#$% My Mom Says

When she says
“come home sooner rather than later”
it means “come at your own convenience
but do not forget
to take mine into account
as you decide
what that is.”

When she says
“do you understand, or do you?”
it means “whether you do or do not
understand, there is no way
you will wriggle out
of behaving as if you do
whether or not you ever do.”

When she says
“I guess she’s pretty enough”
it means “she’s lovely, but
I don’t like
your attraction
to her.”

When she says
“it doesn’t matter to me”
it means
it does. 

When she says
“you can do what you like”
it means “what you like
will likely be
the death of all your doing.”

When she says nothing
it is a filibuster.