Daily Archives: September 19, 2010

Sunday Morning Coming Down

It happens all the time:

a bad seed cracks
but never sprouts;

a failed hatchling remains
curled and rotten
long after shattering
his shroud;

and a man
at a counter wolfing
eggs and bacon,
staring ahead with red eyes,
thinks he is the same.

He chews meat and swallows toast
and sucks down coffee, cigarettes,
booze, smoke,
suffering,
curled in a wretched ball.

He would love for someone to bronze him
and make him into a trophy.

Maybe it will happen
next Saturday night.

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Why I Am Not A Christian

Your
micromanaging God
isn’t real to me —

mine is not concerned with my personal salvation
and I thank my God for that

My God lets me be to find my way
and is no security blanket
no anchor or storm flag
for that journey
has no care for my individual well-being

says I’m well-made
and if I fail it’s my failure
and lonely or insecure
are just my first petty words for recognizing
my small place in the only thing
that matters —

The Aggregate

Oh, far better to not matter as a person
to surrender the antimatter ego of belief in heaven and hell
to know that the only true sin is to stop another light from shining
to laugh at torture as divine test instead of bowing before the torture device
to be an easily sloughed off cell in the Mass Body Of Light
to serve the Glow and not assume
that if I am seen by God
it will be as anything more that a glint

I am the Nothing
the Small and Inconsequential
I am glorious enough

as a tiny piece
of a material creation I trust
to make its way without the need
for intervention

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The Wild Boar Of Sunday Morning

I’m so diamond
the mirror is terrified
of me — no, not that,
not that glamor —

I’m so oak,
acorns rush to my bosom
even after I’m table and chairs.

So coal tar shampoo,
so rough washcloth,
so pumice soap,
dirt’s gone and put me on wanted posters.

I’m so eggplant
eggplant drunk dials me
and whines,
“Why don’t you ever call?”

Hard, ruthless, delicious.
I’m the Wild Boar Of Sunday Morning!

No, not that —

I’m the smile of the mundane
that knows
you don’t get far
without stopping for me.

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Wrong Answers

Hedge shears at this hour? No.
Some bird’s scissor-chirp.  Nice to think
of the neighbor hard at work, though.

Is the street collapsing? No.
Trains, jostling in the near yard
of the downtown terminal.  Nice to think
of an earthquake out there
changing everything, though.

Can’t feel anything inside yet
with certainty.
How’s my aching back?
How’s my aging bladder?
If I move too much I’ll find out,
so at first I don’t.

What time is it?
I must have swept the alarm clock
from the bedside table
with a mad arm sweep
sometime in the night
so I’ll guess: at best, it’s six AM.

Since I’m awake,
I’ll get up to write,
make an early start;
I find seven-thirty on the stove,
the microwave, the coffee maker.

The once-pliable concrete day
at once sets up hard.

Now
I need painkillers,
a pot to piss in,
coffee, silence,
metaphors, effort,
and wrong answers
from which to refashion
what I thought I was sure of
not ten minutes ago.

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