One More About That Day

The sky’s never looked the same since then

I often look up without breathing
I memorize escape routes
I travel light
I have named all my guitars
I eat carefully
I open doors for dogs and breezes
I dress for running and sitting on lawns

The highway’s never been slicker in the rain

I hydroplane on purpose often and have learned to adjust my skid
I love others when it is comfortable
I forget where the speedbumps are right after I cross them
I stream planetary influence
I articulate every word to ensure understanding

Forward motion’s become a mere suggestion

I sleep on the couch a lot
I’m afraid to sleep too long
I flash the news anchor though she cannot see me
I hear rodents in the corridors of power whispering

When the anniversary comes around I dance frantically

I am certain of the time at all times
I watch the hard freaks as if they were prophets

If there is a place to stand I conceal myself nearby

For I am unable to imagine a time
when I will place the day in perspective
and allow myself an instant to proclaim my witness
or let myself forget the ongoing ruin in my gut and groin

I cannot imagine how I will ever
Let myself fall into the symbolism of flag and anger
Admit empire into my smoldering eyelids
Dust myself back to clean gray flannel and silk tie uniform
Make myself believe I’ll return to being an innocent fool
who doesn’t know how to run and duck and cover and choke
or who has forgotten that such skills are necessary lessons
of the years that have passed since then
as monstrously as the burning of once-privileged skulls
saying to me always
that for some
there will never again be
unquestioned safe passage