Tour Diary

doubt
remarks upon itself
endlessly
repeating

increasing the volume
four decibels at a time
at a pace of once per day
until it is not a sound
but a body within
pushing on lungs
from a foothold on your kidneys
voting against
your drumkit and banshee business
of getting by

how will I get by

your monster noise
spurns that worry
even as fear
paralyzes your jaws
as if there were
bitewings in there
that now hold an image
of your cavity

how am I going to eat

there were those
who warned you it would be like this

rock and roll leftover
spitter of your own meat
a bit of tacky danger
a lie

how will I live

a distortion pedal
makes a lovely church
out of your empty bones
chorus is for those
who cannot bear to be alone
and it’s the crush of the sticks
and the dog yelp of the drums
that carry the loneliness off

how can I not be anywhere at all except when I’m on stage

not telling

but
there’s honor in the bigness of your attempt

o huge rejection rejected
o mastery of the returned stone

in the rat’s nest of the van
after the one night stand

rest assured
no matter what fails
the last voice you hear
will still be the one you own

Tags: poems, poetry, meditations, music