In A City Where The Night Can Only Do What Must Be Done

this mad jerking
of my lip
is the projection
of my anxious mind
just before the just-past-prompt arrival
of expected guests

it reflects the white dirt flavor
that is coating my tongue
the chest pains I feel daily
and my forever aching knees

which I am certain
all presage something final
or at the least devastating
that is coming soon

when the friends were late
I was sure something wicked had happened

when they arrived it was as if
a bullet had whizzed by my ear
meant for them
and for me

it took a long time
to relax
and enjoy their visit

and I worried about them
when they left
could not sleep
or even lie still

then a gun or firecracker
went off somewhere
in the yards down the hill
suddenly
at the height of my panic
and I knew
however much I fretted
I would not know the moment
when it came
and I did stop worrying
and settled in to wait
calmly for any of whatever
was destined to happen