Daily Archives: January 15, 2010

Sermons

I keep thinking
it’s going to stop
suddenly,
in pretty much the way I used to hope
the preacher
would stop pounding the pulpit
with his fist to strike a pose
with a long finger pointing
out at the congregation
at the breakthrough moment
where the souls are saved
and brimstone gives way
to ambrosia.

Sermon after poisonous sermon —

unworthy,
useless,
failed son,
fallen —

I always hoped
for a phrase
or a line to redeem me
before them all.

But the service ground on
with me unremarked
for direct salvation.
Always the implications, nuances
to chide me on, drive me deep
into the bench, sinking down.

If I was still
a praying man,
I’d be on my knees right now
for silence.  On my knees,
hoping to awaken
in the arms of peace.
I gave that up a while ago —

instead I think about stealing the Bible
and tossing it into a bonfire.
Nothing to hear there,
nothing worth trying,
not a second time.

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Pundit

You are the cemetery
of brotherhood.

You poke at our faith in
each other’s angelic natures,
demanding spice
and devil noise from us.  One minute
I’m sure you’re done, the next
you’re sticking a finger in my eye.

You don’t know anything real.
In your world there’s a ghost named
the perfect past
and it haunts everything.
That there’s no such thing
as that ghost
hasn’t escaped your notice,
but it doesn’t stop you.
The way you talk is ripped lingerie,
salt in a cut, con man sweet talking into
a rape in a hallway.

I’m going to write you a letter
and send you a postcard
and leave you a voice message
and shout at your house after hours.

It’s the way you want it, isn’t it?
It makes you feel
worthy to be my enemy,
to dismiss me,
call me a mental burp…
hey, you got me again, you slick
shit on an oaken mantel.  Make of me a trophy
of some white contest for black arts…
and dammit, I play into it.
I need to call you out
the way you need me to call you out:
that’s the game.  We do it
for love of our own voices,

the truth
just a secondary gem.

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