Urge For Going

Have this urge
to fire a gun
Wrap my hand around it
Squeeze the trigger
Make something happen
at a distance

See an action
have an immediate effect
Be able to measure
my impact and skill
directly in the moment
of result

Ever fire one?
It’s lovely to feel
the kick of a pistol
in your hand
and to know
how dangerous you are
in that moment

So much is possible
even (if you’re so inclined
your own exit
which is why
I don’t own one and won’t)
but the desire to pull out that stop
and make the smutty music roar
is strong now and again

How lovely we make
the tools of completion
How desirable
the workmanship
How calm the heart
when cradling such a baby
in your jerking and impatient
hands