close my eyes
for me, would you?
i can’t stop looking
and I should.
shut my mouth,
push the jaw hard, break it
if you have to. i’m drawing
too much attention to myself.
it’s not that i mean to be
such a spectacle, it’s just that
falling jumbles your control.
the knobs whirl,
the switches reverse, the dials
spin uncalibrated through their cycles
and i don’t trust them anymore.
you would think i’d have enough experience
to right myself, but experience
isn’t always enough. sometimes
it gets in the way of getting a grip
on an unfamilar disaster. it makes me imagine
i’m strong, when strength
is the last thing i need right now.
what i need is to float and allow
myself to be pulled in and set right,
but i’m too married
to what i know to let that happen
right now, so if you can,
smack me like a television
or a static-pumping radio.
get me right. move me out
of the sunspot storm. give me
another chance, even if it just holds off
the inevitable for one day.
i can take it. i’m used to dislocation
and pain. it’s just that right now
even i know i look awful
and am not working right.
i just want one more shot
at self-correction. close my eyes, my mouth.
return me to my regular upright position.

August 11th, 2009 at 7:43 am
‘regular upright position’—that’s what really needs adjusting–getting away from the regular upright position—another intense harsh poem.
–Your creativity seems to come from a ‘dark’ place.
August 14th, 2009 at 9:08 am
I’m not sure that it’s always dark…I’d say more shadowy, with the bright places being very bright and the shadows being correspondingly dark…and thank you.