Daily Archives: July 15, 2009

Two Bluebirds

Two bluebirds,
male and female, settled next to me
on the walkway rail of my father’s house
tonight, just before sunset.

These were the first bluebirds I’d seen
since I was young and looked for them
in every open pasture, never seeing them, thinking them
elusive and rare.  Now, here they were

perched beside me, regarding me calmly.
If this had happened back when I lived here,
when I hated it here, when I cared so much
about finding them, I might have called it a sign,

and where would I be now?

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Dream A Little Dream Of Me

The car veers left,
hits the curb, ascends,
arcs down heavily into mud.

I sway out from the wreck
across the small street
into a gold house. (The car
is also golden, from the heyday
of muscle cars, once blocky-build solid, now
a folded mess behind me.)

There’s an engagement party going on —

and I am incoherent, my speech
broken into honest chunks
that do not connect to each other
once they’re out of my mouth.

Solicitous at first, the staid white people
soon shuffle me outside and sit me down
outside on the step. 

Suddenly, the police
are all around.
They want to know my name,
look at my license,
call me a liar.

I try to explain — look at the car!
Look at how messed up it is, look at
my sloppy feet, my speech full of holes,
how hard this all is for me.  Can’t you see
the wreckage?  I’m not myself, no wonder
you don’t believe me.  Call a doctor, an ambulance,
I have to get home…

The bride to be watching
from her fiance’s arms
is shaking
more than I am.  The whole family
is frowning, uncertain, terrorized.

All the cops want to know
is why there’s a knife in my pocket.
What am I doing here?  Why so far
from home?  What’s my intent?

No one’s shut the music off, and the soundtrack
for all of this is Mama Cass crooning
as I slowly move from anger to fear
in time with my clearing head…I don’t know
the answers, why I was driving so fast
in such a torrential rain, why this road,
how I know these people I’ve never seen before…

they’re twisting my arm as they lift me
from the step…

And I am awake.  In my own bed,
my name in my billfold beside me on the table.
I look at it to be sure.

I get up, go to the couch.
I’ll make coffee a few minutes from now
and then get ready for work,
once I figure out

why there is always a knife in my pocket,
who these people around me are,
what I am doing so far from home
and why I drove so fast to get here
to a place I do not recognize
only to end up wrecked
in a cold and steady rain.

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irritation dog

barking
barking
irritation dog in my head–
go stand in the road —
go die

you make my throat hurt
i don’t even like talking

so stop stealing my voice

go die and let me be
silent
unless I can be sweet-toned
and no dog
yelping unimportant excitement
at the smallest thing
worrying every bone

shut up
i won’t feed you
get out
i won’t house you

i’m not going to say it again

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